I've always loved Passover
Seders. For more than 35 years, I've created a variety of novel,
innovative seders and seder themes. My wife and I have turned our
home into a Bedouin desert tent; an Egyptian enclave (with a five-foot
inflatable sarcophagus, hieroglyphics and funny ads on the walls –
download these
ads for embalming companies and pyramid rentals);
a jumbo jet taking the Israelites out of Egypt, complete with
a funny captain's
take-off announcement and customized boarding passes; and more.
(Here's a "Canaan Air"
boarding pass you can use for your own Flight to Freedom seder!)
We've 'sacrificed' a (stuffed animal) lamb, complete with dry ice,
a roasting pit and snippets of sad songs; played Seder Family Feud-like games,
pitting one half of the table against the other, based on knowledge of
events surrounding the seder; Passover Jeopardy and lots of other Passover
games; and we usually
make the afikomen search a
very involved hunt. We always try to have a lot of fun Passover stuff.
Our seder shenanigans were written up in
The New York Times,
and highlights of our seders were
filmed by PBS.
(Who am I?
I'm the guy on the right.)
300 Ways to Ask the Four Questions!!
Check out our highly recommended book –
a lifetime labor of our love for Passover – contains
hundreds of Four Questions versions, including
ancient languages from world experts (the Egyptian spoken by
Pharaoh!), every language of Jewish heritage,
funny parodies (Klingon, Na'vi, Pig Latin, Lawyerese, Rap,
Reggae and Valley Girl!), quizzes and games you can play at your
seder. Lots of funny Passover songs and Passover games too.
Foreword by Theodore Bikel, star of stage and screen.
"The Hit of our seder"
"Rare to find something both scholarly and fun!"
"Hysterical treat" "A hoot"
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And now ... on to Seders For You |
SEDERSA Seder on Crypto Jews (Moranos) and the Spanish Inquisition
Each participant gave voice to actual people in New Mexico, Portugal
and Brazil (readings were from interviews with these folks), as they discussed
the revelation when they found out they weren't Catholic, but Jewish; how
they felt about the discovery; the response to this news from their families,
local community, and the Jewish community.
The room was decorated with hundreds of poster copies of
Egyptian tombs and statues, hieroglyphs and, yes, a 5-foot high
inflatable sarcophagus. The hosts were dressed as Pharaoh and Queen.
We sang the themed parody, Walk like an Egyptian (in song parodies
below), and transformed Bill Cosby's "Noah" skit into a Moses
skit, with Cosby's voice now answering commands from a newly
scripted God of the Exodus. (Download new Moses skit
audio or
text). The skit played while
a bush burned in our fireplace.
The Aliyot Seder Haggadah (download below) explored
the lives and contributions of the early Jewish pioneers (Chalutzim)
- eg, the story of the Exodus from Europe to early Palestine. We discuss
the people behind the establishment of modern Hebrew (Ben-Yehuda),
the idea of Zionism (Herzl), its Labor movement (Aharon Gordon) and
the first Jewish Legion (Jabotinsky), to the poet Rachel working on
the Galilee, the establishment of Hadassah (Szold) and Israel's most
famous Prime Minister (Ben-Gurion).
The Seder Highlights Haggadah (download below) celebrated our 30th
different-each-year Seder, with selected highlights from past Seders.
We had over 50 (stuffed animal) frogs drop out of our skylight in a funny
enactment of the Plague of Frogs; we staged a "sacrifice" of a stuffed
animal lamb, held upside down on a spit suspended over (dry ice) steam
pouring out of a cauldron; we acted a funny skit from friend Fred Kaimann
about Pharaoh talking with each of the 10 plagues; we sang songs of
freedom, song parodies based on Beatles music, songs from Disney's Prince
of Egypt, and favorites of our own parodies below; we explored different
depictions of the 4 Sons from Noam Zion's A Different Night; and
played Passover games based on different language translations of
the 4 Questions.
Of course, running the Seder completely backwards isn't feasible, but we played with an idea of a reverse Seder in several ways. In our reverse Seder, the Afikomen gradually appears, with a nod toward modern quantum mechanics; the Dayenu is even more humble; we observe one example of how the Haggadah has grown over time; and the animals in Chad Gadya come back to life! Oddly, a reversed Seder puts some activities close to their original location in the Seder.
As Seder means "order," and as this was a very disorderly Seder according to traditional guidelines, this was the un-Seder, so to speak.
Download the
General outline for an Un-Seder
The Green Stamps / Slavery Seder
This Seder had fun, pop quizes throughout the evening. We gave out
replicas of S&H Green Stamps
As people entered, they saw their own pictures mounted on sticks along the tables – many pictures were crossed out. Came time for the plagues, we revealed that the crossed out pictures represented the first-born within our guests. This dramatized the devastation and disaster brought on by the Plague of Killing of the First-Born Egyptians.
On the theme of slavery, we played roles in a skit of modern-day slavery in NJ, drawn from actual court transcripts and depositions; and read Sweet Honey in the Rock's poem about Harry Moore, a civil rights organizer blown up on Christmas eve, his 25th anniversary, by KKK murderers who were never tried.
The Afikomen hunt used personalized fake afikomens for each person to find;
the hints had been hiding behind their 10th-plague pictures. When everyone
found their afikomen, it was revealed one remained to be found.
Hints behind the Seder Leader's picture led to short puzzles leading
to the actual Afikomen.
Our Miracles Seder followed Colin Humphreys' The Miracles of Exodus:
A Scientist's Discovery of the Extraordinary Natural Causes of the
Biblical Stories, which shows that science can enhance our faith.
By discovering the likely interlocking causes for the plagues, he reveals
it would not make sense, for instance, if the plagues had been listed
in another order.
The author provided permission to distribute these materials for private
non-profit use. Download the file below. Readings and discussion take an
hour.
Miracles of Passover Seder:
We also played "Dayenu Madness!", where each verse of
Dayenu was done in a different manner or melody ('shouting', 'women over 65',
'men under the table', 'holding your nose', 'while leaning to the
right', 'to the tune of Happy Birthday', 'Frosty the Snowman', 'I have
a little Dreidel', etc).
We started the evening with a tag-team, speed enactment
of Michael Rubiner's 2-minute Haggadah (in Games section below), and were very proud
that our beginner's luck time was 1:48.
Passover! – The Musical (A new "twist" on an old story).
Passover! – The Musical #2
Plagues Word
Search Puzzle
Other Web Resources for Novel Seders
Check out (then buy!) this fun, colorful and delightfully cute children's Haggadah called
The Joyous Haggadah,
by Richard and Liora Codor.
See Richard's delightful cartoon and animation creations, themed
to various Jewish Holidays:
Codor's Little Blog of Jewish Humor,
John Kador's
novel child-centered Haggadot
The Miracles of Passover Seder
This Seder explored possible scientific explanations for Exodus' miracles:
The Burning Bush, water from the rock at Horeb,
the Pillar of Cloud and Pillar of Fire that guided the Israelites,
Mt Sinai's location and, of course, each of the 10 plagues.
Download the
Miracles Haggadah
The Oliver "Twisted" Seder – A Dickensian Seder
This Seder draws parallels between Dicken's Oliver Twist, with its
enslavement of orphans in the poorhouses of dusty London, 1850, and
our ancestors in the slavehouses of dusty Egypt, 1400s BCE. The
inspiration was 12 parodies of the songs of "Oliver", the 1968 movie,
written for me by Robyn Shoulson.
The amazingly good parodies are contained in the downloadable Haggadah below.
Download the
Oliver Haggadah - a seder
with a twist
The "My Fair Seder" Seder
This Seder creates parallels to Lerner and Loewe's My Fair Lady.
GB Show's story pits the underclass (Eliza)
against the entitled, powerful ruling class (Professor Higgins).
The Seder, too, pits the underclass (the Israelite slaves)
against a powerful ruler (Pharaoh).
Rabbi Sidney Greenberg calls God "the Divine playwright.
We descendants of ex-slaves reenact this
ancient drama, making it the longest running play in history."
The inspiration was a dozen parodies of My Fair Lady's songs
written for me by Robyn Shoulson. The amazing parodies are
contained in the downloadable Haggadah below.
We used a "Form 1040-EGY" – from the Internal Revenge Services at the
Department of Egyptian Treasuries –
that our guests had to fill out to led them to the Afikomen.
Download the
My Fair Seder
Haggadah
Download the Afikomen hint-puzzle
Form 1040-EGY
PASSOVER SONGS
The Seder Rap
by Randi and Murray Spiegel, Passover 1994
Sing it yourself:
Listen or download.
Gonna tell you all a story, 'bout the Jews in Egypt,
They had a good thing goin', there was no complaint.
But then there came this Pharaoh, who was mean and nasty,
He worked them night and day, from the heat they did faint.
They pleaded unto God, "Save us all, your children"
And God looked down to them, he was quite distressed.
So God appeared to Moses through a bush on fire,
He said "Go back to Egypt, go clear up this mess."
Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.
So Moses went to Pharaoh, saying "God's real angry,
They've suffered many years, Le-let my people go."
But Pharaoh didn't listen, he had no intentions
Of giving up his servants, and he HUHp said "No."
So God sent down 10 plagues, which were quite horrendous,
They started out with water being changed to blood.
And then there came the frogs; Third, the lice persisted,
Then wild beasts everywhere left a ... trail of crud.
Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.
The cattle were all killed, and the boils were torture,
The hail came down in torrents, heads were really woozie.
From the sky there came the locusts, number 9 was darkness,
But God was not yet done, number 10 was a doozie.
All the first-born dropped like flies in their tents and temples,
Every bird and beast in Egypt, only Pharaoh was spared.
Such a wailin' in Mitsrayim, there was such commotion,
Pharaoh couldn't comprehend, he just ... stopped and stared.
Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.
The Jews ran out of Egypt with their herds of cattle,
Pharaoh followed with his armies, they were very near,
But then Moses stretched his hand, and The Sea was parted,
Our people walked on through, they were ... free and clear.
So here we are tonight, sitting 'round this table,
We tell this tale again, never with a gap.
When our ancestors were slaves, God reached out to help them,
The Jews are now a people, 'cause we HUHp beat the rap!
Words copyright (c) 1994 by Randi and Murray Spiegel.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Pharaoh's Nile (tune of "Gilligan's Island")
by Randi and Murray Spiegel, Passover 1995
Just lean right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip
That started back in ancient times while under Pharaoh's whip.
Well Moses was a pious man, God made him brave and sure
Though Pharaoh was a mighty man, his heart was not pure,
his heart was not pure.
Old Pharaoh started getting tough, the Jews were harshly bossed
If not for the courage of the fearless few our people would be lost,
our people would be lost.
They cried to God please rescue us, conditions here are vile.
Send Moses, and Aaron, too, to save our children and wives.
We'll leave this land at God's behest
Here on Pharaoh's Nile.
So God said Moses take your staff and with your brother go
To Pharaoh you will plead your case to let my people go.
Well Moses, he sure did his best, but Pharaoh was not moved
Til God sent down ten dreadful plagues and His power was proved,
His power was proved.
The frogs, the lice, and even boils, could not make Pharaoh bend
'Til slaying of the first born males threatened Pharaoh's life to end,
threatened Pharaoh's life to end.
The Jews escaped miraculously, when God helped them to flee,
Egyptian armies followed them, but drowned in the deep Red Sea.
So this is a tale of our ancestors, they wandered a long, long time.
They had to make the best of things, it was an uphill climb.
So join us here each year my friends, it's sure to be worthwhile
Retelling how the Jews escaped, far from Pharaoh's Nile.
Words copyright (c) 1995 by Randi and Murray Spiegel.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Passover Round (tune of "Frere Jacques")
by Randi Spiegel, Passover 1996
Roasted shankbone
Hard-Boiled Egg
Karpas and Charoseth
Bitter Herbs
Leaving on a Desert Plane (tune of "Leaving on a Jet Plane")
by Randi and Murray Spiegel, Passover 2000
All our bags are packed, we're ready to go
We're standing here outside our doors
We dare not wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' this early morn'
Moses is waiting, he's blowing his horn
We're planning our escape so we won't die
You'll miss me, as you will see
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go
We're leaving from this great strain
We pray we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.
There's so many times you've let us down
Your many crimes have plagued our town
I tell you now they were all mean things
Every place I go, you'll shrink from view,
Every song I sing will be 'gainst you
I won't be back to wear your ball and chain
You'll miss me, as you will see
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go
We're leaving through a wet plain
We hope we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, let me diss you
Close your eyes, we'll be on our way
Dream about the days to come
When you'll be left here all alone
About the time when I won't have to say
You'll miss me, as you will see
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go
We're leaving all our bread grain
We know we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.
Words copyright (c) 2000 by Randi and Murray Spiegel.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Dayenu
Had he saved us, saved us, saved us,
Saved us from the mean Egyptians
And not given them conniptions, Dayenu
Had he given those Egyptians
Unforgettable conniptions
Without smashing all their idols, Dayenu
Had he smashed up all their idols --
Pulverized those gal- and guy-dolls
Without killing all their first-born, Dayenu
Had he killed all of their first-born
(Made the families so forlorn)
Without giving us their riches, Dayenu
Had he given us their riches
Split the sea (we walked with fishes)
But not drowned the Pharaoh's army, Dayenu
Had he drowned the Pharaoh's soldiers
Forty years we hiked 'round boulders
But had given us no manna, Dayenu
Had he given us that manna
-- Go eat as much as you wanna --
But had kept the Shabbas from us, Dayenu
Had he given Shabbas to us --
This day's for rest, not for commerce
But not brought us to Mount Sinai, Dayenu
Had he brought us to Mount Sinai
Through the desert, it was so dry
And not given us the Torah, Dayenu
Had he given us the Torah
Where we sang and danced the Hora
And not led us into Israel, Dayenu
Had he led us into Israel
(So far this is quite a long tale)
And not built for us the Temple, Dayenu
Had he built for us the Temple
So to pray we do assemble
But had not made Manischewitz, Dayenu
(c) Singlish Publication Society, 14140
Sherwood, Oak Park, MI 48237
Scansion modifications and additional verses by Randi and
Murray Spiegel, Passover 2000
Mostly Matza (to W.A. Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik")
(Also called Eine Kleine MatzahMusic)
by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2001
See downloadable music transcription at end
Moses followed all of God's commands, helped the Jews escape from
Pharaoh's hands. Egypt was where the Jews all lived, and happy with
their lives, until the Pharaoh came, and made them slaves; he worked
them night and day, and held them all at bay, they had to get away.
Moses, saw a bush, burning bright, God appeared, told him he must
save the Jews. "Moses, you must go to Egypt speak to Pharaoh tell
him I am not amused. Yes you must go, and tell him tell him he must
let the Hebrews go yes he must let my people go. Their pleas I can't
ignore, they will be slaves no more. You tell Pharaoh he will be
punished if he doesn't listen and won't let my people go."
Moses went to Egypt land, went to see old Pharaoh. Threatened him on
God's behalf. Instead it, just made Pharaoh laugh. He said "I will
not free them, they are my slaves forever. So go back where you came
from, give up on your endeavor. I am strong. You are weak, so turn
around go on home and stay there 'cause I never will give in."
So Moses said to Pharaoh, "I have my God behind me. You will release
my people, or you'll be very sorry. Plagues will come, horrid plagues
so be aware what'll happen to you if you don't release the Jews.
I've warned you for the very last time the plagues will come and
God won't be kind as you will soon find." Pharaoh said "I have
not changed my mind."
This is where the tale gets really good. First, God changed the
water into blood.*
* rhyme with "good"
:)
"A trick," said his magicians, endorsed Pharaoh's position. But Pharaoh
hadn't reckoned, that God would send a second. Frogs hopped around
the city, the picture wasn't pretty. The people were surrounded, the
croaking noise resounded. Well Pharaoh still resisted, what Moses
had insisted. A third plague was enlisted, and so the lice persisted.
It seemed as if the Jews could never leave, Pharaoh's land. It seemed,
as if they'd never leave, but, they knew, they'd just have to believe.
All of, a sudden it looked bleak, with wild beasts ev'rywhere, the
people ran and shrieked. The cattle all died where they had been
grazing and the boils were torture they could not endure. People,
were in pain, they agreed, that the Jews, should be free from
slavery. Pharaoh, would not listen to them Moses said a seventh
plague had been decreed. The hail came down, down from the sky in
torrents, hail fell down so hard. And such was Pharaoh's fate, God
sent plague number eight the swarms of locusts filled the sky to terrify.
Soon the sun's rays were suppressed. Egypt was in darkness
Then the tenth plague was begun, and Pharaoh, at last was, undone.
"Put lamb's blood on your doorposts," the Jews were all instructed.
Egyptians did not know this, an awful plague erupted. Death appeared,
at their door and ev'ry first-born in Egypt died including Pharaoh's
fav'rite child. The Jews all followed Moses, they made a swift
departure. But Pharaoh's armies followed, intending to recapture.
Just ahead, was the sea so Moses stretched out his hand to part it
and they walked through carefully. The armies followed foolishly,
the waters closed the soldiers were drowned the Jews were then free.
Now, we celebrate our freedom ev'ry Passover and this, is why we dine
on mostly matza, pasta we do not, ingest. Consuming mostly matza
which the rabbis blessed. We tell this story all about the Hebrews' quest,
at, this matza fest.
Notes: Do not repeat the first musical theme in the original Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.
Punctuation is provided only to help sing phrases and is not gramatically correct.
Highly recommend downloading the
written music
to match words to the music.
Words copyright (c) 2001 by Randi E. Spiegel.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Walk Like an Egyptian
by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2003
(Music by the group "Bangles," Columbia album "Different Light," 1986)
A long time ago, it is told
The Jews were slaves unto Pharaoh
If they moved too slow (oh way oh)
They'd be whipped to keep the status quo.
What was found floating in the Nile?
A child in a wicker basket
Found by the queen (oh way oh)
And raised in the Pharaoh's palace
Moses left 'cause he did not want to
Ay oh way oh, ay oh way oh
Walk like an Egyptian.
God spoke through a burning bush
Said that Pharaoh needed to be pushed
To free the Jews (oh way oh)
Or terrible plagues they'd undergo.
Moses returned to the land he'd fled
But Pharaoh laughed at what Moses said
He did not believe (oh way oh)
Kept talking like an Egyptian.
First the blood made Pharaoh harden and
Ay oh way oh, ay oh way oh
Walk like an Egyptian.
Frogs and lice, they were the next two plagues
Wild beasts trampled in the marketplace
Then the cattle died (oh way oh)
But God was not done with Pharaoh yet.
Next there were the boils and the hail
The locusts swarmed, causing crops to fail
Darkness then fell (oh way oh)
The first-borns were killed by God's hand.
Moses led the Jews that dark night
The Red Sea was where they crossed in fright
Pharaoh's armies drowned (oh way oh)
They walked the line like Egyptian.
Jews were saved and never had to
Ay oh way oh, ay oh way oh
Walk like an Egyptian
Walk like an Egyptian.
Download the annotated version
to help you match the words to the music.
Words copyright (c) 2003 by Randi E. Spiegel.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang
(tune of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band")
by Randi Spiegel, Passover 2005
A personal celebration of a milestone
It was thirty years ago tonight,
Murray held a Seder with delight,
Now we all know that they last a while,
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile.
So may I introduce to you,
The act you've known for all these years,
Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang
We're Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang,
We hope you're in a festive mood.
Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang,
Sit back and just enjoy the food.
Murray Spiegel's Second, Murray Spiegel's Second,
Murray Spiegel's Second, Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang.
It's wonderful to be here,
It's certainly a thrill.
You're really great participants,
We know you'll feel at home with us,
We know you'll feel at home.
I don't really want to stop the show,
But I thought you might like to know,
That the leader's gonna tell a tale,
Of our ancestors who did prevail.
So may I introduce to you,
The one and only Murray S.
And Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang.
The Israelites in General
(to Gilbert and Sullivan's "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General")
by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2006
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
They were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
We read in the Haggadah of the tale that is historical
And that is what a Seder is, in order categorical
The Jews were slaves in Egypt and their lives were very tragical
At least that's how we tell all of our stories that are biblical
If we were living way back then, our fate would make the front page news
With many sullen facts including killing all the male-born Jews
All: With many sullen facts including killing all the male-born Jews (2x)
With many sullen facts including killing all the male-born, male-born Jews
Now Moses went to Egypt with a mission very serious
Told Pharaoh he must free the Jews and not to be nefarious
They were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
All: They were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
When Pharaoh didn't listen, God sent plagues that were just like a pox
Upon the people and the land and animals as large as ox
God hoped that Pharaoh would concede and show he was not merciless
Instead the slaves were beaten more, while Pharaoh stood emotionless
So Moses raised his staff which changed the waters into blood with ease
They heard the croaking chorus from the frogs a'croaking in the breeze
Then lice infested everyone, wild beasts stampeded with a roar
The cattle died, they all were killed, until there weren't any more
All: The cattle died, they all were killed, until there weren't any more (2x)
The cattle died, they all were killed, until there weren't any, any more
So Moses came back with demands in Babylonic cuneiform
God sent the plague of boils in hopes that Pharaoh would, at last, reform
We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
All: We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
Egyptians and their Pharaoh waited for the next plague to begin
The hail came down in torrents with the sharpness of a javelin
The locusts swarmed, the blackened sky you could see from Mount Ararat
Then darkness overcame the land, folks couldn't see where they were at
The Jews put lambs' blood on their doors and packed their clothes and finery
Egyptians' first-born sons were killed; these are the plagues in summary
And then the Pharaoh did comply, told Moses that he would agree
The Jews could now leave Egypt, he would let them live and set them free
All: The Jews could now leave Egypt, he would let them live and set them free (2x)
The Jews could now leave Egypt, he would let them live and set them, set them free
We're here tonight to tell about our ancestors in slavery
We'd not be here today without their courage, strength and bravery
We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
And now we've told the story of the Israelites in general
All: We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
And now we've told the story of the Israelites in general.
Words copyright (c) 2006 by Randi E. Spiegel.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit
medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is
appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which
it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
House of Martyrdom
(tune of "House of the Rising Sun")
by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2008
Each year our house is made pristine
So Seders can be run
And it's been the ruin of many a woman
And Lord I know I'm one.
The Seder happens ev'ry year
You can wear your new blue jeans
The leader is a ramblin' man
And to the left he leans.
Now the only thing this rambler needs
Is the Seder with two dunks
And the only time he's satisfied
Is when he's four cups drunk.
Oh mother tell your children
Not to do what I have done
Spend your life in tearful misery
In the house of martyrdom
Well, I got one fork in the brisket
Another one in the chrain
I'm goin' back to the kitchen now
To wear that ball and chain.
Well, each year our house is made pristine
So Seders can be run
And it's been the ruin of many a woman
And Lord I know I'm one.
Words copyright (c) 2008 by Randi Spiegel. Permission is hereby granted
to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its
content is not altered and this notice is appended. I would appreciate
receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Miss My Warm Pecan Pie
(tune of Don McLean's "American Pie" – long version)
by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2008
Sing it yourself:
Low fi
karaoke accompanyment
Debut performance: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEBlwRxonx4
A long, long time ago ...
Israelites had to kowtow
To Pharaoh who they knew was vile
And they knew if they had a chance
That they would have to take a stance
And maybe they'd live happy by the Nile
But Moses was put in the river
To Pharaoh's palace was delivered
Bad news on the doorstep
The Hebrews toiled 'til they wept
They prayed to G-d to hear their cry
And to save them from this monstrous guy
Something touched Him deep inside
The day our people cried
So ...
Why, why must we slave 'til we die
Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry
We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try
Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply
Scares us so that we must comply
Did you read the book of Shmot
And do you have faith in what they wrote
If the Bible tells you so
Moses went to Pharaoh to cajole
And maybe save his mortal soul
And asked him just to let our people go
Well the chances they were pretty slim
That Pharaoh would give in to him
But Pharaoh wouldn't lose
His slaves, so he refused
Our people suffered so when they were struck
'Cause they were the slaves of Pharaoh and were stuck
And they thought they were out of luck
The day our people cried
They started saying ...
Why, why must we slave 'til we die
Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry
We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try
Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply
Scares us so that we must comply
Moses threatened Pharaoh on the throne
Said he knows that G-d'll send plagues down
And that's the way it had to be
First the waters in the Nile pristine
Were turned to blood and made unclean
And then frogs hopped around for all to see
Oh, and while Pharaoh was looking down
The lice made the Egyptians frown
The people were concerned
That plagues were sent in turn
And while Pharaoh was no easy mark
The wild beasts trampled in the park
The cattle died, the land was stark
The day our people cried
They were saying ...
Why, why must we slave 'til we die
Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry
We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try
Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply
Scares us so that we must comply
Helter skelter in the desert swelter
Now boils, then hail, there was no shelter
Plagues on high and coming fast
Then locusts in the air en masse
Egyptians were in a deep morass
With the Pharaoh on the sidelines standing fast
Total darkness hit the land with gloom
There was no sun, no stars, or moon
G-d showed omnipotence
Oh, Pharaoh never had a chance
The plague of slaying first-borns was revealed
Pharaoh was beat and had to yield
Now all the slaves could leave the field
The day G-d turned the tide
And they were singing ...
Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply
Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high
Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry
Bringing Jews across to the other side
Safe across to the other side
Oh, and now we are all in one place
For generations to relate
The story that's retold again
So come one and come all, please make it quick
It's time to light the candle's wick
'Cause Seders are the means to comprehend
Oh, and as we read and turn the page
Our Seder guests we do engage
The story we do tell
So come and sit a spell
And as we tell of our ancestors' plight
The Ma Nishtanah we recite
In the ceremony we delight
The day G-d turned the tide
And He was singing ...
Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply
Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high
Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry
Bringing Jews across to the other side
Safe across to the other side
I met a gal who sang the blues
Because she had fewer foods to choose
So she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the groc'ry store
Where I'd bought a challah days before
And I filled my basket for the holiday
And back at home the house was clean
No speck of chametz could be seen
The middle matza broken
Go find the afikomen
And the three foods we will miss the most
Are popcorn, pizza and French toast
But this is true from coast to coast
The day the Jews defied
And so we're singing ...
Bye, bye, miss my warm pecan pie
Drink some heavy Manischewitz and eat matza so dry
No bagels, pancakes or some nice Jewish rye
Eating macaroons and fried matza brei
Thankful that the Jews did not die
They were singing ...
Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply
Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high
Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry
And our people crossed to the other side
Words copyright (c) 2008 by Randi Spiegel.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street,
Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
The Plagues – The Musical!
by Johanna Drickman (additions/modifications by Randi & Murray Spiegel), Passover 2009
Permission granted by authors for private use.
BLOOD: "Old Man River"
Hebrew slaves work by the old Nile River,
Hebrew slaves work while the Pharaoh plays.
Pullin' those stones from the dawn til sunset,
Gettin' no rest til Redemption Day.
Don't look up and don't look down,
You don't dare make Egyptians frown.
Bend your knees and bow your head,
And pull that rope until you're dead.
Let me go way from the big Nile River,
Let me go way from the slave man boss,
Show me the way through the Red Sea water,
That's the one stream that I long to cross.
Ol' Nile River, that Ol' Nile River,
To blood it's turnin', It keeps on churnin'
It keeps on spewin', It just keeps flowin' a-long.
FROGS: "Jeremiah was a Bull Frog"
Jeremiah was a bull frog, had a lot of friends you know
He called every one, said, "Let's go have some fun
We'll crawl right out of the Nile, and Egypt we'll defile.
Singing Frogs of the world, all the boys and girls now
Forget all the fishes of the deep blue sea
No one's slimier than you and me.
LICE: "To Life!"
The Lice, The Lice, I gottem
I gottem, I gottem, the Lice
Pharaoh, O, Pharaoh, O, please give in
We want to save our skin
Lice – I gottem, the Lice.
WILD BEASTS: "Music of the Night"
Daylight's fading, night's almost upon us,
Creature's waiting, maul and stomp upon us.
Try to run away, but without the light of day,
They can smell and see us with nocturnal sight,
The power of the wild beasts of the night!
CATTLE DISEASE: "Ticket to Ride"
The Pharaoh's gonna be sad, I think it's today,
Our cows are gonna be mad, and dying away.
It's not due to the fleas,
They're falling down on their knee-ee-ees *
They've got Mad Cow Disease,
And we're all scared!
* Alternate, less tasteful verse:
It's not due to the fleas,
They've got Mad Cow Disee-ee-ease,
They're walking in B.V.D's,
And we're all scared!
BOILS: "Go Away Little Girl"
Go away little boils, Go away little boils,
It's hurting me more each minute that you delay.
When you are on me like this,
You're much too hard to resist.
So go away ugly boils,
And never come back to stay.
HAIL: "Hello, Dolly"
Hailstones Dolly, well, Hailstones Dolly,
They are falling fast and hard upon your head.
You don't look well, Dolly, I can tell, Dolly
Your face has several bruises, you should be in bed.
I feel the room swaying, for as I was saying,
We have all sustained a lot of head trauma, so
Children, dads, and mothers,
Quick we have to duck and cover,
Make these Hailstones go away,
Make these Hailstones go away,
Make these Hailstones go away, for good.
LOCUSTS: "Super-cali-fragilistic-expiali-docious"
Super-cali-fragilistic-expiali-locusts.
Even though the sound of them is something quite atrocious,
When you hear them loud enough you'll know they are ferocious.
Super-cali-fragilistic-expiali-locusts!
DARKNESS: "Night and Day"
Day and night, they're all the same.
Night and day, our Pharaoh's to blame.
Because he won't let the Hebrews go,
We're suffering with the sun's warming glow.
For three whole days, and nights.
DEATH OF FIRSTBORN: "Tonight, Tonight"
Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night,
Tonight there will be blood in the air.
Tonight, tonight, first-borns will die tonight,
The Egyptians will be unprepared.
Tonight, the angel will descend on,
The Pharaoh and his people,
And no one will be spared.
Oh moon, grow bright,
And let G-d show his might,
End our plight, tonight!
Hey There Elijah
(tune of Plain White T's "Hey There Delilah")
by Barry Kling (Scansion adjustments by Randi & Murray Spiegel), Passover 2008/2009
Sing it yourself:
Low fi
karaoke accompanyment
Hey there Elijah
What's it like at all those Seders
You will drink a lot of wine tonight
But tonight you're permitted yes you are
We can't continue without you,
Oh yes it's true
Hey there Elijah
We believe you'll be here someday
And will bring the world together
Give us hope for what the future will provide
Hear our prayers and our cries,
You're by our side
Chorus: Oh it's what you mean to us (4 times)
What you mean to us.
Hey there Elijah
Share your vision of the world to be
Where G-d is one for everyone
And Seders 'round the world are being done
Next year may we all celebrate,
In Jerusalem
Hey there Elijah
With our friends and fam'ly gathered here
Just as they do year after year
Now we have only one task left to do,
You know it's all because of you,
We open our door to welcome you,
Hey there Elijah, here's to you,
This cup's for you
Repeat Chorus
Permission granted by authors for private use.
If I Only Had Some Chrain
(tune of "If I Only Had A Brain")
by Martin Eiger, Passover 2009
We are sitting at the Seder,
More food is coming later,
But now I am in pain.
It would help my digestion,
I could get through all four questions
If I only had some chrain.
The hosts would speed it up if they knew,
We'd get through the Dayenu
And not do each refrain.
It would ease my neurosis,
I'd enjoy all this harosis
If I only had some chrain.
Oh I would tell the tale,
I'd recount the plagues and parting of the sea.
How glorious and wondrous it would be.
We'd drink some wine
And then we'd dine.
But now my stomach is off-kilter.
The fish is too gefilte.
The parsley sprigs seem plain.
I'd be happy eating lotsa
Food. I'd chow down all the matza
If I only had some chrain.
Shulchan Orech
(tune of "Food, Glorious Food" from Oliver)
by Robyn Shoulson, written for the Spiegels, Passover 2010
Is it worth the waiting for?
What were salivating for?
First we slog through the Haggadah!
Kiddush first, Four questions next
All that long Rabbinic text,
How much more to the Haggadah?
We said Four sons, and Ten plagues, and Three things,
and we've
Finished off Two cups of wine
With our tongues hanging out and our stomachs agrowl,
Have we finally come to the time for ––
Food, glorious food! No more just wine sipping!
Food, glorious food! All done with just dipping!
Let's start with gefilte fish, I'll pass you the chrayn.
Then chicken soup – what a dish – with knaidlach or plain.
Food, glorious food! Roast brisket with gravy,
Boiled flanken or stewed, roast turkey – and maybe
Sweet kugel and kishka too, we're feeling renewed
By Food, glorious food, wonderful food, fattening food!!
Words copyright (c) 2009 by Robyn Shoulson. Permission is hereby granted to
reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content
is not altered and this notice is appended.
Dayenu Rap
by Randi Spiegel, Passover 2011
Words copyright (c) 2011 by Randi Spiegel. Permission is hereby granted
to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its
content is not altered and this notice is appended. I would appreciate
receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Gonna tell you all now how God helped our people
with the favors that He did for which we are grateful
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Now gimme some percussion for this discussion
(Undertone: Slavery, Slavery ...)
If He brought us out of Egypt and that's all He'd done
we'd be free to find our destiny of fame and fortune
Pharaoh thought he was tough so God called his bluff
Let's say it all together while we huff and puff
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Now punish those Egyptians for their superstitions
Don't encourage their magicians with their high ambitions
I got a premonition, they're gonna get afflictions
So believe with conviction, this here ain't science fiction
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
We're bettin' on the odds God'll judge their gods
And ride 'em outta town in some old hot rods
Hey don't just nod, this ain't no facade
Do I have to prod so you believe the word o' God?
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Hey Yo, Pharaoh, first-born sons are dead
Are you seeing red? Go ahead, check the bed
Death has spread a web of dread
It's weakened your position; you got no coalition
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
We got our health, we got your wealth
Don't give a hoot, we'll take your loot
Now be astute, we gotta scoot
'Cause up ahead's a long commute
Egyptian soldiers in hot pursuit
Our trust in God is absolute
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
(Undertone: Miracles, Miracles ...)
God split the sea so we could flee
Be footloose then and fancy-free
Don't need no degree from MIT
To know we gotta move ASAP
We can't sightsee, but we guarantee
there'll be plenty o' time for a jubilee
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Cross on dry land on God's command
we're headed for the Promised Land
Will there be oil, will there be sand?
Won't know until we see firsthand
Whatever's ahead we can withstand
so our people and nation will expand
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Do not break down, don't even frown
God made the Pharaoh's army drown
They tracked us down but were struck down
and all the people, they danced around
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
God was our provider and our Red Sea divider
But now we got to ponder
What's that desert over yonder?
That's where we're gonna wander?
Is God our first responder?
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
We searched for some banana
but God fed us with manna
No hocus pocus, we gotta keep our focus
And so to shield the sun we wore bandanas
It was hotter than hot, crossing that savanna
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
(Undertone: Be with God, Be with God ...)
We need a break, give us a rest
Shabbat Shalom, this day is blessed
With God's command from up in heaven
we work six days and rest on seven
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
We testify, we can't deny, that God led us to Mount Sinai
The desert's dry, but we won't die
Won't sigh, won't cry, and won't defy
If we stand by God, He will supply
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Don't forget Sodom and Gomorrah
just 'cause God gave us the Torah
It's too damn hot to wear angora
So instead let's all just dance the Hora
led by Miriam and sista Tzipporah
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Now don't you wail, and don't derail
Our God's brought us to Is-ra-el
Hey, do not flail, we will prevail
With God above we cannot fail
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
And in the end, when God was done
He'd built the Temple so we could pray as one
Our ancestors lives had just begun
without fear of oblivion
Without oppression or intimidation
the Jews could flourish as a nation
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Dayenu, Dayenu, Dayenu, DAYENU
Seder Limericks
by Limerick Laureate, Martin Eiger, Passover 2011
The plagues, there were nine of them, yo,
But every time Pharaoh said no.
Then came plague number ten.
Would he do it again?
He decided to let them all go.
To the Red Sea the Hebrews were led.
As they fled, they brought with them their bread.
Pharaoh hardened his heart.
The sea started to part,
And now we eat matzah instead.
Moses departed the fold
To receive the commandments, we're told.
But he broke them in half
Upon seeing that calf,
So take care what you do with your gold.
Four Questions (tune of "The Street where you live," from My Fair
Lady)
by Robyn Shoulson, Passover 2012
I have often sat for a meal before,
But there's something here tonight I didn't feel before,
And so what has changed
That it feels so strange?
What makes this meal so different tonight?
Where're the fluffy rolls that I like to eat,
That I always like to dip in gravy with the meat?
Now there's Matza – flat,
Dry and crumbly. That's
Just one way this meal's different tonight.
And oh! Those wonderful greens plates –
Steamed, sauteéd, or frittered or plain.
Tonight, we remember our mean state,
We eat bitter herbs – horseradish or romaine.
We have dips tonight – not the salsa kind.
And we're sitting at an angle (not on our behind).
These are only four,
And I'm sure there's more
Things so strange and so different tonight!
West Side Seder
by Robyn Shoulson, Passover 2012
Words copyright (c) 2011-2012 by Robyn Shoulson. Permission is hereby
granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided
that its content is not altered and this notice is appended.
Four Questions: "Tonight"
Tonight, tonight, is not just any night,
Tonight we will eat no bread at all.
Tonight, tonight, our greens are not just greens,
Bitter herbs will help us to recall.
Tonight, we have two special dippings –
Our veggies in salt water,
Maror in charoset.
We'll lean, not sit, because we will observe Pesach night –
Tonight!
Dayenu: "America"
Freed us from slavery
Dayenu!
Slaughtered their progeny
Dayenu!
Split open wide the sea
Dayenu!
Drowned all our enemies
Dayenu!
How many favors has God wrought?
All of our battles that He fought?
So much thanksgiving that we owe
God rules on High and down below.
Gave us the ten commands
Dayenu!
40 years through the sand
Dayenu!
Led to our promised land
Dayenu!
Built us our Temple grand
Dayenu!
Highly recommended songs from other folks
Download:
Matzah Ball Tonight
(tune of "Comedy Tonight,"
from A Funny Thing ... Forum)
Copyright (c) Barbara Sarshik and Andy Pike, 2010
Download:
Super-kosher Manischewitz, Exodus and Moses
(tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious")
by Chicago's Eric Zorn, 2009
Download:
Now We Are Free
(tune of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline")
by Barry Kling, 2011
Download karoake version
of Sweet Caroline / Now we are free
Download:
Ten Little Egyptians
(tune of "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed")
by Barry Kling, 2008
Download:
Cross the Sea of Reeds (tune of Adele's "Rolling in the Deep")
by Lex Rofes, 2012
Download:
Leader of the Jews (tune of DJ Jazzy Jeff's "Fresh Prince of
Bel-Air")
by Lex Rofes, 2012
Download:
It's a Seder! (tune of Smash Mouth's "All Star")
by Lex Rofes, 2012
Download:
The round: Passover Desecration
(tunes of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, Pepsi jingle,
"There is Nothin' Like A Dame", "Winter Wonderland" and "Purple People Eater")
Words by Sol Weber, 2011; musical arrangement by Jonathan Jensen
PASSOVER GAMES AND PUZZLES
Most of these are not original with us, but were created by friends or culled
from the web. Want to play Passover Jeopardy, Hocus-Pocus,
50-50 Trivia, Plagues word-search, Pass-around Categories, Picture
puzzles, or Passover Jewish Mad Libs? Pesach plays and Passover skits,
let's read on! Thanks to
Kenneth Citak,
Bob Doniger,
Martin Eiger,
Lori Freeman,
Jonathan Greene,
John Kador,
Fred Kaimann,
Suzanne Kayne,
Barry Kling,
Greg Pliska,
Martin Rosenbaum,
Eliezer Segal,
and Scott Sokol.
Various Games (Jeopardy,
Hocus-Pocus/Higgly-Piggly, Family Feud, Hangman, 50-50 trivia)
Passover Categories and M-words Puzzle
A fun 10 Plagues Picture
Puzzle, with some hints
A fun Exodus word puzzle
game – lead Moses from Egypt to the Promised Land – discover the special Parting gift
A clever
Afikomen word-search puzzle – find the missing trios to discover what
Pharaoh's army received
Jewish Mad Libs
Wanna be a
Seder Millionaire?
Abbott and Castello
"Who's on first?" parody
Passover Skit: Behind the
scenes: How the 10 Plagues really were determined
Passover Skit: What if the
Exodus were filmed today? (Rewrite of John Kador's original – see Kador's site [below] for more)
Passover Skit: Egypt's Got Plagues! – the various plague
contestants compete for fame and prizes
Passover Skit: Who wants to be a Seder
Millionaire – a "SlaveDog Millionaire" parody
The Match Game
Two Minute
Haggadah, done as a tag team seder
Turn the recitation of Dayenu
into a fun, participatory game: Dayenu Madness
Read
the Plagues or the Steps of the Seder in Haiku style!
Act out
the updated Four Sons: The Four Teenagers
An Afikomen puzzle – Form 1040-EGY from
Department of Egyptian Treasuries, Internal Revenge Services
– customize for your use (seders are usually
near tax time)
Fun and easy "Wordlets"
Passover picture puzzles
SEDER TRADITIONS AROUND THE WORLD
Many people like to enact some seder customs and traditions
of Jews living in foreign lands. Do you know about playfully
beating each other with scallions during Dayenu?
How about the leader walking
around the table, tapping the seder plate on each person's head
during "In Haste We Left Egypt"? Or everyone leaving the table to go
to all corners of the house?
Click here to see a comprehensive list of customs from many
countries. It's one way of educating everyone about traditions
used elsewhere and showing the diversity of Jews around the world.
OTHER RESOURCES
The 1526 Prague Haggadah
The 1526 Prague Haggadah is one of the most famous illustrated
Hebrew books. It was the first printed, illustrated Haggadah, decorated
with sixty woodcuts and illustrated Hebrew letters. The
commentary on the text provides interesting views into the
culture and traditions of the 16th century.
On my request, scholars Robyn Shoulson and Saul London produced
an English translation and interpretion of the commentary in the
Prague Haggadah.
Get the interpretive translation here.
While the commentary is interesting reading on its own, it's much
more interesting to use with one of the recently published
facsimile editions. These are available from the Bialik Institute,
the Education Dept (Pedagogical Institute) of the Jewish Agency
for Israel, Robinson Books and several other places. Ask your local
Jewish bookstore to get it, or do a web search for Prague Haggadah.
Joe Gelles' creative
ideas for Seder Fun, including a Hogwarts Seder (and a sorting kippa),
a board for Passover Jeopardy and other items.
He also markets Noam Zion's haggadahs:
A Different Night and A Night to Remember