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PASSOVER SEDERS FOR YOU
Ready-To-Use Original and Creative Passover Haggadahs,
Themed Seders, Passover Seder Parodies,
and Four Questions Translations


I've always loved Passover Seders.   For more than 35 years, I've created a variety of novel, innovative seders and seder themes.   My wife and I have turned our home into a Bedouin desert tent; an Egyptian enclave (with a five-foot inflatable sarcophagus, hieroglyphics and funny ads on the walls – download these ads for embalming companies and pyramid rentals); a jumbo jet taking the Israelites out of Egypt, complete with a funny captain's take-off announcement and customized boarding passes; and more.   (Download here loads of files to inspire a do-it-yourself Flight to Freedom seder, like these customizable "Air Canaan" boarding passes.)   We've 'sacrificed' a (stuffed animal) lamb, complete with dry ice, a roasting pit and snippets of sad songs; played Seder Family Feud-like games, pitting one half of the table against the other, based on knowledge of events surrounding the seder; Passover Jeopardy and lots of other Passover games; and we usually make the afikomen search a very involved hunt.   We always try to have a lot of Passover fun.   Our seder shenanigans were written up in The New York Times, and highlights of our seders were filmed by PBS.   (Who am I?   I'm the guy on the right in this photo.)

300 Ways to Ask the Four Questions   The most engaging book to hit your Seder table!!    Get our highly acclaimed book – a lifetime labor of our love for Passover – contains hundreds of Four Questions versions: Ancient languages from world experts (Egyptian spoken by Pharaoh and Moses!), every language of Jewish heritage, funny parodies (Klingon, Na'vi, Pig Latin, Lawyerese, Rap, Reggae and Valley Girl), quizzes and games you can play at your seder.   Lots of funny Passover songs and Passover games too.   Foreword by Theodore Bikel, star of stage and screen.   "The Hit of our seder"   "Rare to find something both scholarly and fun"   "Hysterical treat"   "A hoot"   "Easiest way to bring fresh morsels to your Seder table"   "Anyone who buys this will be glad they did"

Get the book 300 Ways to Ask The Four Questions, now in its second edition, from WhyIsThisNight.com
Read amazing reviews from the many people who've had fun with it at their seders.

Important note about pop-ups on this site:  Because this is a freebie site, you will get pop-ups.
Do NOT click those popup windows. Just close them and continue reading.

This site, Seders For You, is a repository for ready-made creative seders and seder ideas that you have permission to use for your family.   We also post here the fun parodies and songs we've written, along with songs for our seders written by friends.   The only thing we ask is that if you use this material, or pass it along, you must give us credit.  

If you print your own private Haggadah containing any of our material (the Haggadahs, songs or other fun stuff), we request that you send us a copy.   Our address is after each song parody.

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And now ... on to Seders For You
  • Go to seders
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  • Go to cool Four Question translations

  • SEDERS
    If you want to sing along to karaoke-style music files for most of the songs listed here or within the seders, email me:
    Murray Spiegel <info{at_sign_here}WhyIsThisNight.com>

    A Seder on Crypto Jews (Moranos) and the Spanish Inquisition

    Each participant gave voice to actual people in New Mexico, Portugal and Brazil (readings were from interviews with these folks), as they discussed the revelation when they found out they weren't Catholic, but Jewish; how they felt about the discovery; the response to this news from their families, local community, and the Jewish community.

    I created an altered Haggadah:  when there was a Brazilian or Portuguese custom for the prayers, we performed it; I rewrote the 10 plagues, counting the horrors of the Inquisition; a new Dayenu, giving honor to those who kept customs alive over 500 yrs; etc. My wife and I played the roles of, and dressed as, Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand. We also served foods aligned with the Crypto-Jews theme: salsa for the dips, gazpacho soup, chicken mole.

    All sources have provided permission to distribute these materials for private non-profit use.  If you'd like a copy for a ready-made creative Seder, download the files below.  Warning: The readings and discussions could easily take 1-3 hrs!!

    Download the
    Crypto Haggadah   and the  Crypto Readings


    An Egyptian Archeological Seder

    The room was decorated with hundreds of poster copies of Egyptian tombs and statues, hieroglyphs and, yes, a 5-foot high inflatable sarcophagus. The hosts were dressed as Pharaoh and Queen. We sang the themed parody, Walk like an Egyptian (in song parodies below), and transformed Bill Cosby's "Noah" skit into a Moses skit, with Cosby's voice now answering commands from a newly scripted God of the Exodus. (Download new Moses skit audio or text). The skit played while a bush burned in our fireplace.

    The Egyptian Archeological Haggadah (download below) explored archeological evidence related to the Passover story.

    Does the conventional timeline of Egypt conform to archeological evidence? Was Ramesses II really the Pharaoh of the Slavery and the Exodus? (No.) Is there evidence of the Joseph's settlement in the Nile Delta, the path through the Red Sea, chariots and the whole lot? For these questions, our Egyptian Archeological Seder followed issues and evidence described in David Rohl's book Pharaohs and Kings (also published as A Test of Time) and a video Exodus Revealed: Search of the Red Sea Crossing, (ISBN 1-56855-735-3. Distributed by Questar, Box 11345, Chicago 60611 800-844-8422).

    Sources provided permission to distribute these materials for private non-profit use.  If you'd like a copy for a ready-made creative Seder, download the files below.  The readings and discussions may take 2 hrs.


            Egyptian Archeological Seder (warning – large files):
    Download the Leaders Guide   and   Participant Readings


    The Aliyot Seder

    The Aliyot Seder Haggadah (download below) explored the lives and contributions of the early Jewish pioneers (Chalutzim) - eg, the story of the Exodus from Europe to early Palestine. We discuss the people behind the establishment of modern Hebrew (Ben-Yehuda), the idea of Zionism (Herzl), its Labor movement (Aharon Gordon) and the first Jewish Legion (Jabotinsky), to the poet Rachel working on the Galilee, the establishment of Hadassah (Szold) and Israel's most famous Prime Minister (Ben-Gurion).

    We also included a lot of the music of the time period or of its themes. We also had a funny play on how the 10 plagues were chosen. The readings may take 1-1/2 hrs.

    Our decorations included copies of vintage posters of early Zionism and its pioneers.

    Download the
    Aliyot Haggadah


    Seder Highlights

    The Seder Highlights Haggadah (download below) celebrated our 30th different-each-year Seder, with selected highlights from past Seders. We had over 50 (stuffed animal) frogs drop out of our skylight in a funny enactment of the Plague of Frogs; we staged a "sacrifice" of a stuffed animal lamb, held upside down on a spit suspended over (dry ice) steam pouring out of a cauldron; we acted a funny skit from friend Fred Kaimann about Pharaoh talking with each of the 10 plagues; we sang songs of freedom, song parodies based on Beatles music, songs from Disney's Prince of Egypt, and favorites of our own parodies below; we explored different depictions of the 4 Sons from Noam Zion's A Different Night; and played Passover games based on different language translations of the 4 Questions.

    It has been our tradition to ask an initial question of each participant: what's a favorite Passover memory; who was an influential person in your life; relate a joyous event in your life that you're thankful for; who would play the role of Pharaoh / Moses in your life; what songs are especially meaningful to you; how would you react if faced with the prospect of leaving home (Exodus/Explusion/Holocaust/Immigration). This time, participants brought their own questions, which other participants answered.

    The Afikomen hunt centered on finding and then assembling pieces of a map of the Exodus to reveal a hint on the Afikomen's location. The map pieces were on objects keyed to the first 10 Steps of the Seder (Blessing over Wine, Washing Hands, Eating Karpas; etc), as well as being hidden elsewhere throughout the house, in fake Afkikomens. The hunt was a rambling message that wound its way across the back of the map; I took care to insure no single puzzle piece contained the words that were key to the afikomen location.

    Download the
    XXX Highlights Haggadah


    The Inverse Seder

    The inspiration for this Seder, credited to Larry Denenberg, is that most people skim, or skip altogether, the 2nd half of the Seder, those portions following the meal. As a way of focusing on those frequently neglected portions, an inverted or reverse Seder was conceived. When viewed from a different perspective, sometimes interesting relationships are revealed.

    Of course, running the Seder completely backwards isn't feasible, but we played with an idea of a reverse Seder in several ways. In our reverse Seder, the Afikomen gradually appears, with a nod toward modern quantum mechanics; the Dayenu is even more humble; we observe one example of how the Haggadah has grown over time; and the animals in Chad Gadya come back to life! Oddly, a reversed Seder puts some activities close to their original location in the Seder.

    As Seder means "order," and as this was a very disorderly Seder according to traditional guidelines, this was the un-Seder, so to speak.

    Download the General outline for an Un-Seder

    The Green Stamps / Slavery Seder

    This Seder had fun, pop quizes throughout the evening. We gave out replicas of S&H Green Stamps for good answers, which were pasted in a "Book of Redemption"!! (stamps and Redemption Bookeasy-to-use stamp glue). The quizes were keyed to everyone's interests – sports, music, Seder trivia, whatever - and stamps rewarded good participation (leading Birkat, finding the Afikomen, etc).

    As people entered, they saw their own pictures mounted on sticks along the tables – many pictures were crossed out. Came time for the plagues, we revealed that the crossed out pictures represented the first-born within our guests. This dramatized the devastation and disaster brought on by the Plague of Killing of the First-Born Egyptians.

    On the theme of slavery, we played roles in a skit of modern-day slavery in NJ, drawn from actual court transcripts and depositions; and read Sweet Honey in the Rock's poem about Harry Moore, a civil rights organizer blown up on Christmas eve, his 25th anniversary, by KKK murderers who were never tried.

    The Afikomen hunt used personalized fake afikomens for each person to find; the hints had been hiding behind their 10th-plague pictures. When everyone found their afikomen, it was revealed one remained to be found. Hints behind the Seder Leader's picture led to short puzzles leading to the actual Afikomen.

    The Miracles of Passover Seder

    This Seder explores possible scientific explanations for Exodus' miracles: The Burning Bush, water from the rock at Horeb, the Pillar of Cloud and Pillar of Fire that guided the Israelites, Mt Sinai's location and, of course, each of the 10 plagues.

    Our Miracles Seder followed Colin Humphreys' The Miracles of Exodus: A Scientist's Discovery of the Extraordinary Natural Causes of the Biblical Stories, which shows that science can enhance our faith. By discovering the likely interlocking causes for the plagues, he reveals it would not make sense, for instance, if the plagues had been listed in another order.

    The author provided permission to distribute these materials for private non-profit use. Download the file below. Readings and discussion take an hour.

            Miracles of Passover Seder:
    Download the Miracles Haggadah

    The Oliver "Twisted" Seder – A Dickensian Seder

    This Seder draws parallels between Dicken's Oliver Twist, with its enslavement of orphans in the poorhouses of dusty London, 1850, and our ancestors in the slavehouses of dusty Egypt, 1400s BCE. The inspiration was 12 parodies of the songs of "Oliver", the 1968 movie, written for me by Robyn Shoulson. The amazingly good parodies are contained in the downloadable Haggadah below.

    We also played "Dayenu Madness!", where each verse of Dayenu was done in a different manner or melody ('shouting', 'women over 65', 'men under the table', 'holding your nose', 'while leaning to the right', 'to the tune of Happy Birthday', 'Frosty the Snowman', 'I have a little Dreidel', etc). We started the evening with a tag-team, speed enactment of Michael Rubiner's 2-minute Haggadah (in Games section below), and were very proud that our beginner's luck time was 1:48.

            Passover! – The Musical     (A new "twist" on an old story).
    Download the Oliver Haggadah - a seder with a twist

    The "My Fair Seder" Seder

    This Seder creates parallels to Lerner and Loewe's My Fair Lady. GB Show's story pits the underclass (Eliza) against the entitled, powerful ruling class (Professor Higgins). The Seder, too, pits the underclass (the Israelite slaves) against a powerful ruler (Pharaoh).
    Rabbi Sidney Greenberg calls God "the Divine playwright. We descendants of ex-slaves reenact this ancient drama, making it the longest running play in history." The inspiration was a dozen parodies of My Fair Lady's songs written for me by Robyn Shoulson. The amazing parodies are contained in the downloadable Haggadah below.

    We used a "Form 1040-EGY" – from the Internal Revenge Services at the Department of Egyptian Treasuries – that our guests had to fill out to led them to the Afikomen.

            Passover! – The Musical #2
    Download the My Fair Seder Haggadah     Download the Afikomen hint-puzzle Form 1040-EGY

    The "West Side Seder" Seder

    This Seder weaves together two themes – parodies of Leonard Bernstein's West Side Story, with a commemoration of signing of the Emancipation Proclaimation. The inspiration again was Robyn Shoulson's wonderful parodies written to this play for our Seder. Although the proclaimation connection is particularly poignant for 2013, which was the 150th anniversary of Lincoln's signing the Proclaimation, the slavery connections and discussion are appropriate any year.

    We also played Silly Seder Surprises, where guests responded to phrases ("an outstretched arm","wicked son", any Rabbi's name) with silly actions or shouted phrases, which triggered other guests to respond with their own actions. Find in Games section below. Hillarious!

            Passover! – The Musical #3
    Download the West Side Seder Haggadah    

    The "Amazing Haggadahs" Seder

    This Seder explores the art and learning within the famous Moss Haggadah. Created as a private commission 1980-1983, the Moss is considered by many as one of the finest Haggadahs ever created. It has beautiful artwork, micrographic printing, gold and silver inlays, with eloquent explanations of the artwork that provide unique insights and perspectives on Passover, Jewish history, and our place in the world. For historical context, we also explored art in the 1526 Prague Haggadah – its woodcuts established conventions followed for hundreds of years. To enhance our Seder scene, we surrounded our guests with 19 blow-ups of Moss' artwork around the room.

    [Right] "Halleluyah" – Lameds caress the outline of a Kiddish cup. From the Moss Haggadah (c) David Moss 2014, Courtesy of Bet Alpha Editions Berkeley, CA. To look into getting one of your own:
    www.bet-alpha-editions.com   www.davidmoss.com

    Download the Mossy Haggadah

    PASSOVER SONGS
    If you want to sing along to karaoke-style music files for most of the songs listed here or within the seders, email me:
    Murray Spiegel <info{at_sign_here}WhyIsThisNight.com>

    The Seder Rap
    by Randi and Murray Spiegel, Passover 1994
                                    Sing it yourself: 
    Listen or download.

    Gonna tell you all a story, 'bout the Jews in Egypt,
    They had a good thing goin', there was no complaint.
    But then there came this Pharaoh, who was mean and nasty,
    He worked them night and day, from the heat they did faint.

    They pleaded unto God, "Save us all, your children"
    And God looked down to them, he was quite distressed.
    So God appeared to Moses through a bush on fire,
    He said "Go back to Egypt, go clear up this mess."

    Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
                   It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.

    So Moses went to Pharaoh, saying "God's real angry,
    They've suffered many years, Le-let my people go."
    But Pharaoh didn't listen, he had no intentions
    Of giving up his servants, and he HUHp said "No."

    So God sent down 10 plagues, which were quite horrendous,
    They started out with water being changed to blood.
    And then there came the frogs; Third, the lice persisted,
    Then wild beasts everywhere left a ... trail of crud.

    Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
                   It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.

    The cattle were all killed, and the boils were torture,
    The hail came down in torrents, heads were really woozie.
    From the sky there came the locusts, number 9 was darkness,
    But God was not yet done, number 10 was a doozie.

    All the first-born dropped like flies in their tents and temples,
    Every bird and beast in Egypt, only Pharaoh was spared.
    Such a wailin' in Mitsrayim, there was such commotion,
    Pharaoh couldn't comprehend, he just ... stopped and stared.

    Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
                   It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.

    The Jews ran out of Egypt with their herds of cattle,
    Pharaoh followed with his armies, they were very near,
    But then Moses stretched his hand, and The Sea was parted,
    Our people walked on through, they were ... free and clear.
    So here we are tonight, sitting 'round this table,
    We tell this tale again, never with a gap.
    When our ancestors were slaves, God reached out to help them,
    The Jews are now a people, 'cause we HUHp beat the rap!

    Words copyright (c) 1994 by Randi and Murray Spiegel.
    Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com

    Pharaoh's Nile (tune of "Gilligan's Island")
    by Randi and Murray Spiegel, Passover 1995

    Just lean right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip
    That started back in ancient times while under Pharaoh's whip.
    Well Moses was a pious man, God made him brave and sure
    Though Pharaoh was a mighty man, his heart was not pure,
    his heart was not pure.

    Old Pharaoh started getting tough, the Jews were harshly bossed
    If not for the courage of the fearless few our people would be lost,
    our people would be lost.

    They cried to God please rescue us, conditions here are vile.
    Send Moses, and Aaron, too, to save our children and wives.
    We'll leave this land at God's behest
    Here on Pharaoh's Nile.

    So God said Moses take your staff and with your brother go
    To Pharaoh you will plead your case to let my people go.
    Well Moses, he sure did his best, but Pharaoh was not moved
    Til God sent down ten dreadful plagues and His power was proved,
    His power was proved.

    The frogs, the lice, and even boils, could not make Pharaoh bend
    'Til slaying of the first born males threatened Pharaoh's life to end,
    threatened Pharaoh's life to end.
    The Jews escaped miraculously, when God helped them to flee,
    Egyptian armies followed them, but drowned in the deep Red Sea.

    So this is a tale of our ancestors, they wandered a long, long time.
    They had to make the best of things, it was an uphill climb.
    So join us here each year my friends, it's sure to be worthwhile
    Retelling how the Jews escaped, far from Pharaoh's Nile.

    Words copyright (c) 1995 by Randi and Murray Spiegel.
    Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com

    Passover Round (tune of "Frere Jacques")
    by Randi Spiegel, Passover 1996

    Roasted shankbone
    Hard-Boiled Egg
    Karpas and Charoseth
    Bitter Herbs
    Leaving on a Desert Plane (tune of "Leaving on a Jet Plane")
    by Randi and Murray Spiegel, Passover 2000

    All our bags are packed, we're ready to go
    We're standing here outside our doors
    We dare not wake you up to say goodbye
    But the dawn is breakin' this early morn'
    Moses is waiting, he's blowing his horn
    We're planning our escape so we won't die

    You'll miss me, as you will see
    You've been dealt a harsh decree
    You held us like you'd never let us go
    We're leaving from this great strain
    We pray we won't be back again
    God knows, can't wait to go.

    There's so many times you've let us down
    Your many crimes have plagued our town
    I tell you now they were all mean things
    Every place I go, you'll shrink from view,
    Every song I sing will be 'gainst you
    I won't be back to wear your ball and chain

    You'll miss me, as you will see
    You've been dealt a harsh decree
    You held us like you'd never let us go
    We're leaving through a wet plain
    We hope we won't be back again
    God knows, can't wait to go.

    Now the time has come to leave you
    One more time, let me diss you
    Close your eyes, we'll be on our way
    Dream about the days to come
    When you'll be left here all alone
    About the time when I won't have to say

    You'll miss me, as you will see
    You've been dealt a harsh decree
    You held us like you'd never let us go
    We're leaving all our bread grain
    We know we won't be back again
    God knows, can't wait to go.

    Words copyright (c) 2000 by Randi and Murray Spiegel.
    Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com

    Dayenu

    Had he saved us, saved us, saved us,
    Saved us from the mean Egyptians
    And not given them conniptions, Dayenu

    Had he given those Egyptians
    Unforgettable conniptions
    Without smashing all their idols, Dayenu

    Had he smashed up all their idols --
    Pulverized those gal- and guy-dolls
    Without killing all their first-born, Dayenu

    Had he killed all of their first-born
    (Made the families so forlorn)
    Without giving us their riches, Dayenu

    Had he given us their riches
    Split the sea (we walked with fishes)
    But not drowned the Pharaoh's army, Dayenu

    Had he drowned the Pharaoh's soldiers
    Forty years we hiked 'round boulders
    But had given us no manna, Dayenu

    Had he given us that manna
    -- Go eat as much as you wanna --
    But had kept the Shabbas from us, Dayenu

    Had he given Shabbas to us --
    This day's for rest, not for commerce
    But not brought us to Mount Sinai, Dayenu

    Had he brought us to Mount Sinai
    Through the desert, it was so dry
    And not given us the Torah, Dayenu

    Had he given us the Torah
    Where we sang and danced the Hora
    And not led us into Israel, Dayenu

    Had he led us into Israel
    (So far this is quite a long tale)
    And not built for us the Temple, Dayenu

    Had he built for us the Temple
    So to pray we do assemble
    But had not made Manischewitz, Dayenu

    (c) Singlish Publication Society, 14140
    Sherwood, Oak Park, MI 48237
    Scansion modifications and additional verses by Randi and Murray Spiegel, Passover 2000

    Mostly Matza (to W.A. Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik")
                   (Also called Eine Kleine MatzahMusic)

    by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2001
         See downloadable music transcription at end

    Moses followed all of God's commands, helped the Jews escape from
    Pharaoh's hands. Egypt was where the Jews all lived, and happy with
    their lives, until the Pharaoh came, and made them slaves; he worked
    them night and day, and held them all at bay, they had to get away.

    Moses, saw a bush, burning bright, God appeared, told him he must
    save the Jews. "Moses, you must go to Egypt speak to Pharaoh tell
    him I am not amused. Yes you must go, and tell him tell him he must
    let the Hebrews go yes he must let my people go. Their pleas I can't
    ignore, they will be slaves no more. You tell Pharaoh he will be
    punished if he doesn't listen and won't let my people go."

    Moses went to Egypt land, went to see old Pharaoh. Threatened him on
    God's behalf. Instead it, just made Pharaoh laugh. He said "I will
    not free them, they are my slaves forever. So go back where you came
    from, give up on your endeavor. I am strong. You are weak, so turn
    around go on home and stay there 'cause I never will give in."

    So Moses said to Pharaoh, "I have my God behind me. You will release
    my people, or you'll be very sorry. Plagues will come, horrid plagues
    so be aware what'll happen to you if you don't release the Jews.
    I've warned you for the very last time the plagues will come and
    God won't be kind as you will soon find." Pharaoh said "I have
    not changed my mind."

    This is where the tale gets really good. First, God changed the water into blood.*
                                * rhyme with "good"   :)

    "A trick," said his magicians, endorsed Pharaoh's position. But Pharaoh
    hadn't reckoned, that God would send a second. Frogs hopped around
    the city, the picture wasn't pretty. The people were surrounded, the
    croaking noise resounded. Well Pharaoh still resisted, what Moses
    had insisted. A third plague was enlisted, and so the lice persisted.
    It seemed as if the Jews could never leave, Pharaoh's land. It seemed,
    as if they'd never leave, but, they knew, they'd just have to believe.

    All of, a sudden it looked bleak, with wild beasts ev'rywhere, the
    people ran and shrieked. The cattle all died where they had been
    grazing and the boils were torture they could not endure. People,
    were in pain, they agreed, that the Jews, should be free from
    slavery. Pharaoh, would not listen to them Moses said a seventh
    plague had been decreed. The hail came down, down from the sky in
    torrents, hail fell down so hard. And such was Pharaoh's fate, God
    sent plague number eight the swarms of locusts filled the sky to terrify.
    Soon the sun's rays were suppressed. Egypt was in darkness
    Then the tenth plague was begun, and Pharaoh, at last was, undone.

    "Put lamb's blood on your doorposts," the Jews were all instructed.
    Egyptians did not know this, an awful plague erupted. Death appeared,
    at their door and ev'ry first-born in Egypt died including Pharaoh's
    fav'rite child. The Jews all followed Moses, they made a swift
    departure. But Pharaoh's armies followed, intending to recapture.
    Just ahead, was the sea so Moses stretched out his hand to part it
    and they walked through carefully. The armies followed foolishly,
    the waters closed the soldiers were drowned the Jews were then free.

    Now, we celebrate our freedom ev'ry Passover and this, is why we dine
    on mostly matza, pasta we do not, ingest. Consuming mostly matza
    which the rabbis blessed. We tell this story all about the Hebrews' quest,
    at, this matza fest.

    Notes: Do not repeat the first musical theme in the original Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.
        Punctuation is provided only to help sing phrases and is not gramatically correct.
        Highly recommend downloading the written music to match words to the music.

    Words copyright (c) 2001 by Randi E. Spiegel.
    Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com

    Walk Like an Egyptian
    by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2003
    (Music by the group "Bangles," Columbia album "Different Light," 1986)

    A long time ago, it is told
    The Jews were slaves unto Pharaoh
    If they moved too slow (oh way oh)
    They'd be whipped to keep the status quo.

    What was found floating in the Nile?
    A child in a wicker basket
    Found by the queen (oh way oh)
    And raised in the Pharaoh's palace

    Moses left 'cause he did not want to
    Ay oh way oh, ay oh way oh
    Walk like an Egyptian.

    God spoke through a burning bush
    Said that Pharaoh needed to be pushed
    To free the Jews (oh way oh)
    Or terrible plagues they'd undergo.

    Moses returned to the land he'd fled
    But Pharaoh laughed at what Moses said
    He did not believe (oh way oh)
    Kept talking like an Egyptian.

    First the blood made Pharaoh harden and
    Ay oh way oh, ay oh way oh
    Walk like an Egyptian.

    Frogs and lice, they were the next two plagues
    Wild beasts trampled in the marketplace
    Then the cattle died (oh way oh)
    But God was not done with Pharaoh yet.

    Next there were the boils and the hail
    The locusts swarmed, causing crops to fail
    Darkness then fell (oh way oh)
    The first-borns were killed by God's hand.

    Moses led the Jews that dark night
    The Red Sea was where they crossed in fright
    Pharaoh's armies drowned (oh way oh)
    They walked the line like Egyptian.

    Jews were saved and never had to
    Ay oh way oh, ay oh way oh
    Walk like an Egyptian
    Walk like an Egyptian.

    Download the annotated version to help you match the words to the music.

    Words copyright (c) 2003 by Randi E. Spiegel.
    Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com

    Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang (tune of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band")
    by Randi Spiegel, Passover 2005
    A personal celebration of a milestone

    It was thirty years ago tonight,
    Murray held a Seder with delight,
    Now we all know that they last a while,
    But they're guaranteed to raise a smile.
    So may I introduce to you,
    The act you've known for all these years,
    Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang

    We're Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang,
    We hope you're in a festive mood.
    Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang,
    Sit back and just enjoy the food.
    Murray Spiegel's Second, Murray Spiegel's Second,
    Murray Spiegel's Second, Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang.
    It's wonderful to be here,
    It's certainly a thrill.
    You're really great participants,
    We know you'll feel at home with us,
    We know you'll feel at home.

    I don't really want to stop the show,
    But I thought you might like to know,
    That the leader's gonna tell a tale,
    Of our ancestors who did prevail.
    So may I introduce to you,
    The one and only Murray S.
    And Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang.

    The Israelites in General (to Gilbert and Sullivan's "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General")
    by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2006

    We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
    They were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
    We read in the Haggadah of the tale that is historical
    And that is what a Seder is, in order categorical

    The Jews were slaves in Egypt and their lives were very tragical
    At least that's how we tell all of our stories that are biblical
    If we were living way back then, our fate would make the front page news
    With many sullen facts including killing all the male-born Jews

    All: With many sullen facts including killing all the male-born Jews (2x)
    With many sullen facts including killing all the male-born, male-born Jews

    Now Moses went to Egypt with a mission very serious
    Told Pharaoh he must free the Jews and not to be nefarious
    They were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
    We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general

    All: They were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
    We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general

    When Pharaoh didn't listen, God sent plagues that were just like a pox
    Upon the people and the land and animals as large as ox
    God hoped that Pharaoh would concede and show he was not merciless
    Instead the slaves were beaten more, while Pharaoh stood emotionless

    So Moses raised his staff which changed the waters into blood with ease
    They heard the croaking chorus from the frogs a'croaking in the breeze
    Then lice infested everyone, wild beasts stampeded with a roar
    The cattle died, they all were killed, until there weren't any more

    All: The cattle died, they all were killed, until there weren't any more (2x)
    The cattle died, they all were killed, until there weren't any, any more

    So Moses came back with demands in Babylonic cuneiform
    God sent the plague of boils in hopes that Pharaoh would, at last, reform
    We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
    We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general

    All: We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
    We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general

    Egyptians and their Pharaoh waited for the next plague to begin
    The hail came down in torrents with the sharpness of a javelin
    The locusts swarmed, the blackened sky you could see from Mount Ararat
    Then darkness overcame the land, folks couldn't see where they were at

    The Jews put lambs' blood on their doors and packed their clothes and finery
    Egyptians' first-born sons were killed; these are the plagues in summary
    And then the Pharaoh did comply, told Moses that he would agree
    The Jews could now leave Egypt, he would let them live and set them free

    All: The Jews could now leave Egypt, he would let them live and set them free (2x)
    The Jews could now leave Egypt, he would let them live and set them, set them free

    We're here tonight to tell about our ancestors in slavery
    We'd not be here today without their courage, strength and bravery
    We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
    And now we've told the story of the Israelites in general

    All: We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
    And now we've told the story of the Israelites in general.

    Words copyright (c) 2006 by Randi E. Spiegel.
    Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com

    House of Martyrdom (tune of "House of the Rising Sun")
    by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2008

    Each year our house is made pristine
    So Seders can be run
    And it's been the ruin of many a woman
    And Lord I know I'm one.

    The Seder happens ev'ry year
    You can wear your new blue jeans
    The leader is a ramblin' man
    And to the left he leans.

    Now the only thing this rambler needs
    Is the Seder with two dunks
    And the only time he's satisfied
    Is when he's four cups drunk.

    Oh mother tell your children
    Not to do what I have done
    Spend your life in tearful misery
    In the house of martyrdom

    Well, I got one fork in the brisket
    Another one in the chrain
    I'm goin' back to the kitchen now
    To wear that ball and chain.

    Well, each year our house is made pristine
    So Seders can be run
    And it's been the ruin of many a woman
    And Lord I know I'm one.

    Words copyright (c) 2008 by Randi Spiegel. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com

    Miss My Warm Pecan Pie (tune of Don McLean's "American Pie" – long version)
    by Randi E. Spiegel, Passover 2008
                                    Sing it yourself:   Low fi karaoke accompanyment
                                    Debut performance:   www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEBlwRxonx4

    A long, long time ago ...
    Israelites had to kowtow
    To Pharaoh who they knew was vile
    And they knew if they had a chance
    That they would have to take a stance
    And maybe they'd live happy by the Nile
    But Moses was put in the river
    To Pharaoh's palace was delivered
    Bad news on the doorstep
    The Hebrews toiled 'til they wept
    They prayed to G-d to hear their cry
    And to save them from this monstrous guy
    Something touched Him deep inside
    The day our people cried
    So ...

    Why, why must we slave 'til we die
    Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry
    We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try
    Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply
    Scares us so that we must comply

    Did you read the book of Shmot
    And do you have faith in what they wrote
    If the Bible tells you so
    Moses went to Pharaoh to cajole
    And maybe save his mortal soul
    And asked him just to let our people go
    Well the chances they were pretty slim
    That Pharaoh would give in to him
    But Pharaoh wouldn't lose
    His slaves, so he refused
    Our people suffered so when they were struck
    'Cause they were the slaves of Pharaoh and were stuck
    And they thought they were out of luck
    The day our people cried
    They started saying ...

    Why, why must we slave 'til we die
    Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry
    We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try
    Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply
    Scares us so that we must comply

    Moses threatened Pharaoh on the throne
    Said he knows that G-d'll send plagues down
    And that's the way it had to be
    First the waters in the Nile pristine
    Were turned to blood and made unclean
    And then frogs hopped around for all to see
    Oh, and while Pharaoh was looking down
    The lice made the Egyptians frown
    The people were concerned
    That plagues were sent in turn
    And while Pharaoh was no easy mark
    The wild beasts trampled in the park
    The cattle died, the land was stark
    The day our people cried
    They were saying ...

    Why, why must we slave 'til we die
    Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry
    We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try
    Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply
    Scares us so that we must comply

    Helter skelter in the desert swelter
    Now boils, then hail, there was no shelter
    Plagues on high and coming fast
    Then locusts in the air en masse
    Egyptians were in a deep morass
    With the Pharaoh on the sidelines standing fast
    Total darkness hit the land with gloom
    There was no sun, no stars, or moon
    G-d showed omnipotence
    Oh, Pharaoh never had a chance
    The plague of slaying first-borns was revealed
    Pharaoh was beat and had to yield
    Now all the slaves could leave the field
    The day G-d turned the tide
    And they were singing ...

    Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply
    Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high
    Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry
    Bringing Jews across to the other side
    Safe across to the other side

    Oh, and now we are all in one place
    For generations to relate
    The story that's retold again
    So come one and come all, please make it quick
    It's time to light the candle's wick
    'Cause Seders are the means to comprehend
    Oh, and as we read and turn the page
    Our Seder guests we do engage
    The story we do tell
    So come and sit a spell
    And as we tell of our ancestors' plight
    The Ma Nishtanah we recite
    In the ceremony we delight
    The day G-d turned the tide
    And He was singing ...

    Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply
    Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high
    Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry
    Bringing Jews across to the other side
    Safe across to the other side

    I met a gal who sang the blues
    Because she had fewer foods to choose
    So she just smiled and turned away
    I went down to the groc'ry store
    Where I'd bought a challah days before
    And I filled my basket for the holiday
    And back at home the house was clean
    No speck of chametz could be seen
    The middle matza broken
    Go find the afikomen
    And the three foods we will miss the most
    Are popcorn, pizza and French toast
    But this is true from coast to coast
    The day the Jews defied
    And so we're singing ...

    Bye, bye, miss my warm pecan pie
    Drink some heavy Manischewitz and eat matza so dry
    No bagels, pancakes or some nice Jewish rye
    Eating macaroons and fried matza brei
    Thankful that the Jews did not die
    They were singing ...
    Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply
    Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high
    Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry
    And our people crossed to the other side

    Words copyright (c) 2008 by Randi Spiegel.
    Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com

    The Plagues – The Musical!
    by Johanna Drickman (additions/modifications by Randi & Murray Spiegel), Passover 2009

    BLOOD: "Old Man River"

    Hebrew slaves work by the old Nile River,
    Hebrew slaves work while the Pharaoh plays.
    Pullin' those stones from the dawn til sunset,
    Gettin' no rest til Redemption Day.
    Don't look up and don't look down,
    You don't dare make Egyptians frown.
    Bend your knees and bow your head,
    And pull that rope until you're dead.
    Let me go way from the big Nile River,
    Let me go way from the slave man boss,
    Show me the way through the Red Sea water,
    That's the one stream that I long to cross.
    Ol' Nile River, that Ol' Nile River,
    To blood it's turnin', It keeps on churnin'
    It keeps on spewin', It just keeps flowin' a-long.

    FROGS: "Jeremiah was a Bull Frog"

    Jeremiah was a bull frog, had a lot of friends you know
    He called every one, said, "Let's go have some fun
    We'll crawl right out of the Nile, and Egypt we'll defile.

    Singing Frogs of the world, all the boys and girls now
    Forget all the fishes of the deep blue sea
    No one's slimier than you and me.

    LICE: "To Life!"

    The Lice, The Lice, I gottem
    I gottem, I gottem, the Lice
    Pharaoh, O, Pharaoh, O, please give in
    We want to save our skin
    Lice – I gottem, the Lice.

    WILD BEASTS: "Music of the Night"

    Daylight's fading, night's almost upon us,
    Creature's waiting, maul and stomp upon us.
    Try to run away, but without the light of day,
    They can smell and see us with nocturnal sight,
    The power of the wild beasts of the night!

    CATTLE DISEASE: "Ticket to Ride"

    The Pharaoh's gonna be sad, I think it's today,
    Our cows are gonna be mad, and dying away.
    It's not due to the fleas,
    They're falling down on their knee-ee-ees *
    They've got Mad Cow Disease,
    And we're all scared!

    * Alternate, less tasteful verse:
        It's not due to the fleas,
        They've got Mad Cow Disee-ee-ease,
        They're walking in B.V.D's,
        And we're all scared!
    BOILS: "Go Away Little Girl"

    Go away little boils, Go away little boils,
    It's hurting me more each minute that you delay.
    When you are on me like this,
    You're much too hard to resist.
    So go away ugly boils,
    And never come back to stay.

    HAIL: "Hello, Dolly"

    Hailstones Dolly, well, Hailstones Dolly,
    They are falling fast and hard upon your head.
    You don't look well, Dolly, I can tell, Dolly
    Your face has several bruises, you should be in bed.
    I feel the room swaying, for as I was saying,
    We have all sustained a lot of head trauma, so
    Children, dads, and mothers,
    Quick we have to duck and cover,
    Make these Hailstones go away,
    Make these Hailstones go away,
    Make these Hailstones go away, for good.

    LOCUSTS: "Super-cali-fragilistic-expiali-docious"

    Super-cali-fragilistic-expiali-locusts.
    Even though the sound of them is something quite atrocious,
    When you hear them loud enough you'll know they are ferocious.
    Super-cali-fragilistic-expiali-locusts!

    DARKNESS: "Night and Day"

    Day and night, they're all the same.
    Night and day, our Pharaoh's to blame.
    Because he won't let the Hebrews go,
    We're suffering with the sun's warming glow.
    For three whole days, and nights.

    DEATH OF FIRSTBORN: "Tonight, Tonight"

    Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night,
    Tonight there will be blood in the air.
    Tonight, tonight, first-borns will die tonight,
    The Egyptians will be unprepared.

    Tonight, the angel will descend on,
    The Pharaoh and his people,
    And no one will be spared.

    Oh moon, grow bright,
    And let G-d show his might,
    End our plight, tonight!






    Permission granted by authors for private use.

    Hey There Elijah (tune of Plain White T's "Hey There Delilah")
    by Barry Kling (Scansion adjustments by Randi & Murray Spiegel), Passover 2008/2009
                                    Sing it yourself:   Low fi karaoke accompanyment

    Hey there Elijah
    What's it like at all those Seders
    You will drink a lot of wine tonight
    But tonight you're permitted yes you are
    We can't continue without you,
    Oh yes it's true

    Hey there Elijah
    We believe you'll be here someday
    And will bring the world together
    Give us hope for what the future will provide
    Hear our prayers and our cries,
    You're by our side

    Chorus: Oh it's what you mean to us (4 times)
    What you mean to us.

    Hey there Elijah
    Share your vision of the world to be
    Where G-d is one for everyone
    And Seders 'round the world are being done
    Next year may we all celebrate,
    In Jerusalem

    Hey there Elijah
    With our friends and fam'ly gathered here
    Just as they do year after year
    Now we have only one task left to do,
    You know it's all because of you,
    We open our door to welcome you,
    Hey there Elijah, here's to you,
    This cup's for you

    Repeat Chorus

    Permission granted by authors for private use.

    If I Only Had Some Chrain (tune of "If I Only Had A Brain")
    by Martin Eiger, Passover 2009

    We are sitting at the Seder,
    More food is coming later,
    But now I am in pain.
    It would help my digestion,
    I could get through all four questions
    If I only had some chrain.

    The hosts would speed it up if they knew,
    We'd get through the Dayenu
    And not do each refrain.
    It would ease my neurosis,
    I'd enjoy all this harosis
    If I only had some chrain.

    Oh I would tell the tale,
    I'd recount the plagues and parting of the sea.
    How glorious and wondrous it would be.
    We'd drink some wine
    And then we'd dine.

    But now my stomach is off-kilter.
    The fish is too gefilte.
    The parsley sprigs seem plain.
    I'd be happy eating lotsa
    Food. I'd chow down all the matza
    If I only had some chrain.

    Shulchan Orech (tune of "Food, Glorious Food" from Oliver)
    by Robyn Shoulson, written for the Spiegels, Passover 2010
          Many, many parody songs from Oliver are located in the Oliver Twisted Haggadah, downloadable above.

    Is it worth the waiting for?
    What were salivating for?
    First we slog through the Haggadah!

    Kiddush first,   Four questions next
    All that long Rabbinic text,
    How much more to the Haggadah?

    We said Four sons, and Ten plagues, and Three things, and we've
    Finished off Two cups of wine
    With our tongues hanging out and our stomachs agrowl,
    Have we finally come to the time for ––

    Food, glorious food!   No more just wine sipping!
    Food, glorious food!   All done with just dipping!
    Let's start with gefilte fish, I'll pass you the chrayn.
    Then chicken soup – what a dish – with knaidlach or plain.

    Food, glorious food!   Roast brisket with gravy,
    Boiled flanken or stewed, roast turkey – and maybe
    Sweet kugel and kishka too, we're feeling renewed
    By Food, glorious food, wonderful food, fattening food!!

    Words copyright (c) 2009 by Robyn Shoulson. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended.

    Dayenu Rap
    by Randi Spiegel
    , Passover 2011

    Gonna tell you all now how God helped our people
    with the favors that He did for which we are grateful
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    Now gimme some percussion for this discussion

    (Undertone: Slavery, Slavery ...)
    If He brought us out of Egypt and that's all He'd done
    we'd be free to find our destiny of fame and fortune
    Pharaoh thought he was tough so God called his bluff
    Let's say it all together while we huff and puff
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    Now punish those Egyptians for their superstitions
    Don't encourage their magicians with their high ambitions
    I got a premonition, they're gonna get afflictions
    So believe with conviction, this here ain't science fiction
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    We're bettin' on the odds God'll judge their gods
    And ride 'em outta town in some old hot rods
    Hey don't just nod, this ain't no facade
    Do I have to prod so you believe the word o' God?
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    Hey Yo, Pharaoh, first-born sons are dead
    Are you seeing red? Go ahead, check the bed
    Death has spread a web of dread
    It's weakened your position; you got no coalition
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    We got our health, we got your wealth
    Don't give a hoot, we'll take your loot
    Now be astute, we gotta scoot
    'Cause up ahead's a long commute
    Egyptian soldiers in hot pursuit
    Our trust in God is absolute
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    (Undertone: Miracles, Miracles ...)
    God split the sea so we could flee
    Be footloose then and fancy-free
    Don't need no degree from MIT
    To know we gotta move ASAP
    We can't sightsee, but we guarantee
    there'll be plenty o' time for a jubilee
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    Cross on dry land on God's command
    we're headed for the Promised Land
    Will there be oil, will there be sand?
    Won't know until we see firsthand
    Whatever's ahead we can withstand
    so our people and nation will expand
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    Do not break down, don't even frown
    God made the Pharaoh's army drown
    They tracked us down but were struck down
    and all the people, they danced around
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    God was our provider and our Red Sea divider
    But now we got to ponder
    What's that desert over yonder?
    That's where we're gonna wander?
    Is God our first responder?
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    We searched for some banana
    but God fed us with manna
    No hocus pocus, we gotta keep our focus
    And so to shield the sun we wore bandanas
    It was hotter than hot, crossing that savanna
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    (Undertone: Be with God, Be with God ...)
    We need a break, give us a rest
    Shabbat Shalom, this day is blessed
    With God's command from up in heaven
    we work six days and rest on seven
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    We testify, we can't deny, that God led us to Mount Sinai
    The desert's dry, but we won't die
    Won't sigh, won't cry, and won't defy
    If we stand by God, He will supply
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    Don't forget Sodom and Gomorrah
    just 'cause God gave us the Torah
    It's too damn hot to wear angora
    So instead let's all just dance the Hora
    led by Miriam and sista Tzipporah
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    Now don't you wail, and don't derail
    Our God's brought us to Is-ra-el
    Hey, do not flail, we will prevail
    With God above we cannot fail
    It would have been enough, yeah,
    it would have been enough


    And in the end, when God was done
    He'd built the Temple so we could pray as one
    Our ancestors lives had just begun
    without fear of oblivion
    Without oppression or intimidation
    the Jews could flourish as a nation
    It would have been enough, yeah, it would have been enough
    It would have been enough, yeah, it would have been enough
    Dayenu, Dayenu, Dayenu, DAYENU

    Words copyright (c) 2011 by Randi Spiegel. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com

    Seder Limericks
    by Limerick Laureate (granted by the Annals of Improbable Research), Martin Eiger
    , Passover 2011

    The plagues, there were nine of them, yo,
    But every time Pharaoh said no.
      Then came plague number ten.
      Would he do it again?
    He decided to let them all go.

    To the Red Sea the Hebrews were led.
    As they fled, they brought with them their bread.
      Pharaoh hardened his heart.
      The sea started to part,
    And now we eat matzah instead.

    Moses departed the fold
    To receive the commandments, we're told.
      But he broke them in half
      Upon seeing that calf,
    So take care what you do with your gold.

    Four Questions (tune of "The Street where you live," from My Fair Lady)
    by Robyn Shoulson, written for the Spiegels, Passover 2012
          Many, many parody songs from My Fair Lady are located in the My Fair Seder Haggadah, downloadable above.

    I have often sat for a meal before,
    But there's something here tonight I didn't feel before,
    And so what has changed
    That it feels so strange?
    What makes this meal so different tonight?

    Where're the fluffy rolls that I like to eat,
    That I always like to dip in gravy with the meat?
    Now there's Matza – flat,
    Dry and crumbly.   That's
    Just one way this meal's different tonight.

    And oh! Those wonderful greens plates –
    Steamed, sauteéd, or frittered or plain.
    Tonight, we remember our mean state,
    We eat bitter herbs – horseradish or romaine.

    We have dips tonight – not the salsa kind.
    And we're sitting at an angle (not on our behind).
    These are only four,
    And I'm sure there's more
    Things so strange and so different tonight!


    West Side Seder (Four Questions and Dayenu)
    by Robyn Shoulson, written for the Spiegels, Passover 2012
          Many, many parody songs from West Side Story are located in the West Side Seder Haggadah, downloadable above.
    Four Questions: "Tonight"

    Tonight, tonight, is not just any night,
    Tonight we will eat no bread at all.
    Tonight, tonight, our greens are not just greens,
    Bitter herbs will help us to recall.

    Tonight, we have two special dippings –
    Our veggies in salt water,
    Maror in charoset.

    We'll lean, not sit, because we will observe Pesach night –

    Tonight!











    Dayenu: "America"

    Freed us from slavery
    Dayenu!
    Slaughtered their progeny
    Dayenu!
    Split open wide the sea
    Dayenu!
    Drowned all our enemies
    Dayenu!

    How many favors has God wrought?
    All of our battles that He fought?
    So much thanksgiving that we owe
    God rules on High and down below.

    Gave us the ten commands
    Dayenu!
    40 years through the sand
    Dayenu!
    Led to our promised land
    Dayenu!
    Built us our Temple grand
    Dayenu!
    Words copyright (c) 2011-2012 by Robyn Shoulson. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is appended.

    Many more phenomenal Four Questions parodies are in our book:  Rap, Reggae, Gilbert and Sullivan, "Dough" Re Me, Shakespearean, Lawyerese, Klingon, and of course Valley Girl.

    Highly recommended songs from other folks

    Download: Matzah Ball Tonight   (tune of "Comedy Tonight," from A Funny Thing ... Forum) Copyright (c) Barbara Sarshik and Andy Pike, 2010
    Download: Super-kosher Manischewitz, Exodus and Moses   (tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious") by Chicago's Eric Zorn, 2009
    Download: Now We Are Free   (tune of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline") by Barry Kling, 2011
                            Download karaoke version of Sweet Caroline / Now We Are Free
    Download: Ten Little Egyptians   (tune of "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed") by Barry Kling, 2008
    Download: Cross the Sea of Reeds   (tune of Adele's "Rolling in the Deep") by Lex Rofes, 2012
    Download: Leader of the Jews   (tune of DJ Jazzy Jeff's "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air") by Lex Rofes, 2012
    Download: It's a Seder!   (tune of Smash Mouth's "All Star") by Lex Rofes, 2012
    Download: The round: Passover Desecration   (mash-up of "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik", Pepsi jingle, "There is Nothin' Like A Dame", "Winter Wonderland" and "Purple People Eater") Words by Sol Weber, 2011; musical arrangement by Jonathan Jensen
    Download: Great collection of parodies: "Broadway, Beatles and Beyond" - over twenty years of creation by a very creative Barbara Sarshik.
    PASSOVER GAMES AND PUZZLES
    Most of these are not original with us, but were created by highly talented friends. Want to play Passover Jeopardy, Hocus-Pocus, 50-50 Trivia, Plagues word-search, Pass-around Categories, Picture puzzles, or Passover Jewish Mad Libs? Pesach plays and Passover skits, let's read on! Thanks to Kenneth Citak, Bob Doniger, David Dranikoff, Martin Eiger, Lori Freeman, Jonathan Greene, Howie Feiwus, John Kador, Fred Kaimann, Suzanne Kayne, Barry Kling, Greg Pliska, Jim Propp-Gubin, Simcha Rafael, Martin Rosenbaum, Eliezer Segal, and Scott Sokol.

    Plagues Word Search Puzzle
    Various Games (Jeopardy, Hocus-Pocus/Higgly-Piggly, Family Feud, Hangman, 50-50 trivia)
    Passover Categories and M-words Puzzle
    A fun 10 Plagues Picture Puzzle, with a few hints
    A fun Exodus word puzzle game – lead Moses from Egypt to the Promised Land – discover the special Parting gift
    A clever Afikomen word-search puzzle – find the missing trios to discover what Pharaoh's army received
    Passover Seder Mad Libs
    Wanna be a Seder Millionaire?
    Abbott and Castello "Who's on first?" parody
    The Match Game
    Two Minute Haggadah, done as a tag team seder
    Dayenu Madness – turns Dayenu into a fun participatory game
    Read the Plagues or the Steps of the Seder in Haiku style!
    The Four Teenagers – act out an updated Four Sons
    An Afikomen puzzle – Form 1040-EGY from Department of Egyptian Treasuries, Internal Revenge Services customize for your use (seders are often near tax time)
    Fun and easy "Wordlets" Passover picture puzzles
    Freedom cookies – put famous quotes about freedom in meringue cookies or macaroons.   Voila! Kosher Fortune, er, Freedom Cookies
    The Newly Freed game – fun take-off of the Newlywed Game
    Silly Seder Surprises – guests do silly stuff when they hear certain phrases or see each other doing silly stuff
    Town Meeting Skit – should we slaves stay or leave with Moses?
    10 Plagues – funny alternate plagues story: "God smote all breakfast cereals, not sparing the Pop-Tarts"
    Passover Skit: Behind the scenes: How the 10 Plagues really were determined – hilarious
    Passover Skit: What if the Exodus were filmed today? (Rewrite of John Kador's original – see Kador's site [below] for more)
    Passover Skit: Egypt's Got Plagues! – the various plague contestants compete for fame and prizes
    Passover Skit: Who wants to be a Seder Millionaire – a "SlaveDog Millionaire" parody
    Passover Skit: The Passover story – with reflection questions and traditional songs

    SEDER TRADITIONS AROUND THE WORLD
    Many people like to enact some seder customs and traditions of Jews living in foreign lands.   Do you know about playfully beating each other with scallions during Dayenu?   How about the leader walking around the table, tapping the seder plate on each person's head during "In Haste We Left Egypt"?   Or everyone leaving the table to go to all corners of the house?

    Click here for a comprehensive list of customs from many countries.   It's one way of educating everyone about traditions used elsewhere and show the diversity of Jews around the world.


    OTHER RESOURCES
    Handout of "Seder Suggestions" for Parents
    Based on our highly acclaimed Passover Prep Workshops, this handout contains many suggestions from our Passover Alerts: games, themes, songs, crafts, activities and more – for parents of kids.  (Fun for adult groups too!)    
    Download the handout here
    Book our workshop for your venue here.

    The 1526 Prague Haggadah
    The 1526 Prague Haggadah is one of the most famous illustrated Hebrew books. It was the first printed, illustrated Haggadah, decorated with sixty woodcuts and illustrated Hebrew letters. The commentary on the text provides interesting views into the culture and traditions of the 16th century. On my request, scholars Robyn Shoulson and Saul London produced an English translation and interpretion of the commentary in the Prague Haggadah. Get the interpretive translation here.

    While the commentary is interesting reading on its own, it's much more interesting to use with one of the recently published facsimile editions. These are available from the Bialik Institute, the Education Dept (Pedagogical Institute) of the Jewish Agency for Israel, Robinson Books and several other places. Ask your local Jewish bookstore to get it, or do a web search for Prague Haggadah.

    Other Web Resources for Novel Seders
    Joe Gelles' creative ideas for Seder Fun, including a Hogwarts Seder (and a sorting kippa), a board for Passover Jeopardy and other items. He also markets Noam Zion's haggadahs: A Different Night and A Night to Remember

    Pesach Fun! has many wonderful family-friendly games and quizzes to engage children. From Pesach Bingo, 20 Questions, Charades, Taboo, ImaginIff, Categories, and Headlines to Treasure Hunts, Letter Rip and Compatibility, these games teach creativity, knowledge and joy for Passover. With ready-to-use game boards. Perhaps their best suggestion is asking older kids to create questions, boards and puzzles for their younger siblings. By Miriam & Ephrayim Naiman and their children, in Ramat Beit Shemesh.

    Check out (then buy!) this fun, colorful and delightfully cute children's Haggadah called The Joyous Haggadah, by Richard and Liora Codor.

    See Richard's delightful cartoon and animation creations, themed to various Jewish Holidays: Codor's Little Blog of Jewish Humor,

    John Kador's novel child-centered Haggadot