Passover Catastrophe (Tune of Modern Major General) By Phil Trechak 2009 I am the major reason for a Passover catastrophe It started with a plate of turkey that was poorly passed to me The turkey started tumbling, the story now gets riveting And all because of my poor inability of pivoting The turkey knocked the manishewitz wine on our new tablecloth It ran down to the end where it got mixed up with the chicken broth It started to coagulate with each and every matzoh ball And now all of the soup contained a large percent of alcohol Well this is where the seder truly started just to deviate The soup had caused a seder full of soup induced inebriates I get no satisfaction seeing children who look gassed to me I am the major reason for a Passover catastrophe The children in their drunken state all started throwing food around The ones who couldn't hold their liquor started falling to the ground My uncle started laughing as he thought the kids were faking it Until they grabbed his glasses and proceeded then of breaking it I stood too late to stop them and I knocked the table overboard The value of the broken china can no way be underscored The total of my big faux paux, it cost me 6 months salary I am the major reason for a Passover catastrophe By now the meal was interrupted, everyone was hungry The kids had started getting sick all over their new dungarees The others who were hungry went into the kitchen cabinet And though they were told don't eat bread, they all just started grabbin it My mother started screaming saying "You're defying history" They said today we'll take our cue from faiths that have a Christmas tree For now I haven't been disowned, but mother still won't speak to me I am the major reason for a Passover catastrophe