We also publish 300 Ways to Ask the Four Questions, the most engaging book to hit your Seder table. Our acclaimed book – a lifetime labor of our love for Passover – contains hundreds of Four Questions versions: Ancient languages from world experts (Egyptian spoken by Pharaoh and Moses!), every language of Jewish heritage, funny parodies (Klingon, Na'vi, Pig Latin, Lawyerese, Rap, Reggae and Valley Girl), quizzes and games you can play at your seder. Funny Passover songs and Passover games too. "The Hit of our seder" "Rare to find something both scholarly and fun" "Hysterical treat" "A hoot" "Easiest way to bring fresh morsels to your Seder table" "Anyone who buys this will be glad they did"
Get 300 Ways to Ask The Four Questions from WhyIsThisNight.com. (Hint: inscribed copies!) Read reviews from the many people who've had amazing fun at their seders.
This site, Seders For You, is a repository for ready-made creative seders and seder ideas that you have permission to use for your family. We also post here the fun parodies and songs we've written, along with songs for our seders written by friends. The only thing we ask – if you use this material, or pass it along, please give credit as follows: Material from "Seders For You".
If you print your own private Haggadah containing any of our material (the Haggadahs, songs or other fun stuff), we request that you send us a copy. Our address is after each song parody.
And now ... on to Seders For You:
Go to Seders
Go to Passover songs and parodies
Go to Passover games, puzzles and skits – worldwide seder traditions too
Go to Other useful resources (including Passover
Customs from Jews Around the World and Seder Suggestions for Everyone,
especially Parents )
Go to cool Four Question
translations
SEDERS
If you want to sing along to karaoke versions edited for the songs listed here or within the seders, email me: Murray Spiegel <info{at_sign_here}WhyIsThisNight.com>. (I don't have everything as karaoke files, but will share all I've got.)Jump to: The Crypto Seder The Archeology Seder The Aliyot Seder The Flight to Freedom Seder The 30th Anniv Highlights Seder The Unseder The Slavery-Emancipation Seder The Miracles of Exodus Seder The Oliver Twisted Seder My Fair Seder West Side Seder The Moss Seder Fiddler at the Seder The Honoring Scholars (40th Anniv) Seder Seder Pacific The Great Women Seder The Immigrants and Refugees Seder Seder at the OK Choral (pun intended) The Kaifeng/Chinese Jews Seder The Wizard of Har Sinai Seder The Guys and Dolls Seder The Porgy and Bess Seder
All sources have provided permission to distribute these materials for private non-profit use. If you'd like a copy for a ready-made creative Seder, download the files below. Warning: The readings and discussions could easily take 1-2 hrs!!
Download the Crypto Haggadah and the Crypto Readings
The Egyptian Archeological Haggadah (download below) explores archeological evidence related to the Passover story.
Does the conventional timeline of Egypt conform to archeological evidence? Was Ramesses II really the Pharaoh of the Slavery and the Exodus? (No.) Is there evidence of the Joseph's settlement in the Nile Delta, the path through the Red Sea, chariots and the whole lot? For these questions, our Egyptian Archeological Seder followed issues and evidence described in David Rohl's book Pharaohs and Kings (also published as A Test of Time) and a video Exodus Revealed: Search of the Red Sea Crossing, (ISBN 1-56855-735-3. Distributed by Questar, Box 11345, Chicago 60611 800-844-8422).
Sources provided permission to distribute these materials for private non-profit use. If you'd like a copy for a ready-made creative Seder, download the files below. The readings and discussions might take 2 hrs.
Our favorite parody song in this seder: Walk like an Egyptian
We also included a lot of the music of the time period or of its themes. We also had a funny play on how the 10 plagues were chosen. The readings might take 1-1/2 hrs.
Our decorations included copies of vintage posters of early Zionism and its pioneers.
Download the Aliyot Haggadah
Download everything you need – including a goofy Captain's announcement – from our Flight to Freedom seder page.
It has been our tradition to ask an initial question of each participant: what's a favorite Passover memory; who was an influential person in your life; relate a joyous event in your life that you're thankful for; who would play the role of Pharaoh / Moses in your life; what songs are especially meaningful to you; how would you react if faced with the prospect of leaving home (Exodus/Explusion/Holocaust/Immigration). This time, participants brought their own questions, which other participants answered.
The Afikomen hunt centered on finding and then assembling pieces of a map of the Exodus to reveal a hint on the Afikomen's location. The map pieces were on objects keyed to the first 10 Steps of the Seder (Blessing over Wine, Washing Hands, Eating Karpas; etc), as well as being hidden elsewhere throughout the house, in fake Afkikomens. The hunt was a rambling message that wound its way across the back of the map; I took care to insure no single puzzle piece contained the words that were key to the afikomen location.
Download the XXX Highlights Haggadah
The inspiration for this Seder, credited to Larry Denenberg, is that most people skim, or skip altogether, the 2nd half of the Seder, those portions following the meal. As a way of focusing on those frequently neglected portions, an inverted or reverse Seder was conceived. When viewed from a different perspective, sometimes interesting relationships are revealed.
Of course, running the Seder completely backwards isn't feasible, but we played with an idea of a reverse Seder in several ways. In our reverse Seder, the Afikomen gradually appears, with a nod toward modern quantum mechanics; the Dayenu is even more humble; we observe one example of how the Haggadah has grown over time; and the animals in Chad Gadya come back to life! Oddly, a reversed Seder puts some activities close to their original location in the Seder.
As Seder means "order," and as this was a very disorderly Seder according to traditional guidelines, this was the un-Seder, so to speak.
Download the general outline for an Un-Seder
As people entered, they saw their own pictures mounted on sticks along the tables – many pictures were crossed out. Came time for the plagues, we revealed that the crossed out pictures represented the first-born within our guests. This dramatized the devastation and disaster brought on by the Plague of Killing of the First-Born Egyptians.
On the theme of slavery, we played roles in a skit of modern-day slavery in NJ, drawn from actual court transcripts and depositions; and read Sweet Honey in the Rock's poem about Harry Moore, a civil rights organizer blown up on Christmas eve, his 25th anniversary, by KKK murderers who were never tried.
The Afikomen hunt used personalized fake afikomens for each person to find; the hints had been hiding behind their 10th-plague pictures. When everyone found their afikomen, it was revealed one remained to be found. Hints behind the Seder Leader's picture led to short puzzles leading to the actual Afikomen.
Our Miracles Seder followed Colin Humphreys' The Miracles of Exodus: A Scientist's Discovery of the Extraordinary Natural Causes of the Biblical Stories, which shows that science can enhance our faith. By discovering the likely interlocking causes for the plagues, he reveals it would not make sense, for instance, if the plagues had been listed in another order.
The author provided permission to distribute these materials for private non-profit use. Download the file below. Readings and discussion take an hour.
We also played "Dayenu Madness!", where each verse of Dayenu was done in a different manner or melody ('shouting', 'women over 65', 'men under the table', 'holding your nose', 'while leaning to the right', 'to the tune of Happy Birthday', 'Frosty the Snowman', 'I have a little Dreidel', etc). We started the evening with a tag-team, speed enactment of Michael Rubiner's 2-minute Haggadah (in Games section below), and were very proud that our beginner's luck time was 1:48.
Our favorite parody songs in this seder: "Consider yourself at home" (Ha Lachma), "I'd do anything" (Four Questions), "Food, glorious food" (Shulchan Orech).
Passover! – The Musical (A new "twist" on an old story)
Download the
Oliver Haggadah – a seder
with a twist
This Seder creates parallels to Lerner and Loewe's My Fair Lady. GB Show's story pits the underclass (Eliza) against the entitled, powerful ruling class (Professor Higgins). The Seder, too, pits the underclass (the Israelite slaves) against a powerful ruler (Pharaoh).
Rabbi Sidney Greenberg calls God "the Divine playwright. We descendants of ex-slaves reenact this ancient drama, making it the longest running play in history." The inspiration was a dozen parodies of My Fair Lady's songs written for me by Robyn Shoulson. The amazing parodies are contained in the downloadable Haggadah below.
We used a "Form 1040-EGY" – from the Internal Revenge Services at the Department of Egyptian Treasuries – that our guests filled out to get the Afikomen.
Our favorite parody songs in this seder: "The street where you live" (Four Questions), "I could have danced all night" (B'nei Brack), "Just you wait" (Ten Plagues), "Wouldn't it be loverly" (Dayenu), "Get me to the church" (Elijah), "With a little bit of luck" (Hallel).
Passover! – The Musical #2
Download the
My Fair Seder
Haggadah
Download the Afikomen hint-puzzle
Form 1040-EGY
This Seder weaves together two themes – parodies of Leonard Bernstein's West Side Story, with a commemoration of signing of the Emancipation Proclaimation. The inspiration again was Robyn Shoulson's wonderful parodies written to this play for our Seder. Although the proclaimation connection is particularly poignant for 2013, which was the 150th anniversary of Lincoln's signing the Proclaimation, the slavery connections and discussion are appropriate any year.
We also played Silly Seder Surprises, where guests responded to phrases ("an outstretched arm","wicked son", any Rabbi's name) with silly actions or shouted phrases, which triggered other guests to respond with their own actions. Find in Games section below. Hillarious!
Our favorite parody songs in this seder: "Tonight" (Four Questions) "Officer Krupke" (Ten Plagues), "America" (Dayenu), "I feel pretty" (Chad Gadya).
Passover! – The Musical #3
Download the
West Side Seder
Haggadah
This Seder explores the art and learning within the famous Moss Haggadah. Created as a private commission 1980-1983, the Moss is considered by many as one of the finest Haggadahs ever created. It has beautiful artwork, micrographic printing, gold and silver inlays, with eloquent explanations of the artwork that provide unique insights and perspectives on Passover, Jewish history, and our place in the world. For historical context, we also explored art in the 1526 Prague Haggadah – its woodcuts established conventions followed for hundreds of years. To enhance our Seder scene, we surrounded our guests with 19 blow-ups of Moss' artwork around the room.
Download the Mossy Haggadah
This Seder celebrated the 50th anniversary of the iconic Jewish-but-universal play, Fiddler on the Roof. We looked at the lives of the creators – lyricist, composer, book and directory/choreographer – as well as some of Tevye's most famous actors. We sang wonderful parodies again written for us by Robyn Shoulson.
We had secret activity cards for the kids – taped to the bottom of their chairs – which were revealed at key times during the seder. Example: Ask everyone to suggest an advertising slogan to get people to come to Egypt during the plagues. We also played quizes based on multilingual versions of Fiddler performances, and our guests had to guess which quotes were actually used in the show and which were made up. (Download the Tevye or Consequences quiz.)
The Afikomen hunt was a search for clues that involved phrases to be found in copies of the Bible, Book of Mormon and the Qur'an. When the phrases (all relating to Passover, Moses, slavery, freedom and redemption) were copied to the quiz sheet, specific letters were highlighted, which spelled out one of the clue sentences. A second, necessary, clue sentence (to be found by other pair on one's team) was assembled in a simliar way from phrases found on a copy of Israel's Proclamation of Independence and America's Declaration of Independence.
Best limerick on the topic of Fiddler, from our Limerick Laureate:
Is edict from terrible czar.
We go to America. Far!
Is test of our mettle.
Abandon the shtetl.
Some day, me on Broadway, a star!
Our favorite parody songs in this seder:
"Anatevka" (Kol Dichfin/Ha Lachma),
"Sunrise, Sunset" (Four Sons),
"If I were a rich man" (Ten Plagues),
"Matchmaker" (Echad Mi Yodea).
Watch on YouTube
Passover! – The Musical #4
Our favorite parody songs in this seder: Pharaoh of the Israelites (tune of
The Captain of the Pinafore); Dear Passover Seder (tune of
Officer Krupke; Egyptian Rhapsody (tune of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody).
Download
An XLent Haggadah
Full text of interviews with scholars and friends:
Noam Zion
Michael Nelson
Mark Simon
Larry Denenberg
Hinda Bodinger
Barry Ivker
Barry Kling
We discussed the story of South Pacific, one of the first musicals
to address the topic of discrimination and intolerance. The song "You've
got to be taught" is one of the most searing musical indictments
against prejudice, hatred and intolerance. South Pacific's first
performance (Apr 7) is usually around Pesach time, so that anniversary can
be observed.
As in years past, most of the parodies were written Robyn Shoulson.
Our favorite in this seder: Happy Talk: "We will talk –
Hagaddah means to talk; talk about things we have to do. We talk
about our dreams, we talk of Pharaohs schemes, how he thought to rid
himself of Jews." Another great parody is "You've Got to be Taught",
now repurposed for the Four Children.
We also used bananas for Karpas (legit: Rabbi Teitz and Rav Elozor Preil
point out that any food is appropriate if the blessing ha'adama
is used). We dipped in chocolate sauce. (Also halachically acceptable.)
We hid a drop of red dye in a few glasses: when people poured themselves
water, only some of the water turned – reminiscent of
how
only the Egyptian's water turned into blood.
The Afikoman search was aided with hint cards that contained events in
Jerusalem's history, celebrating the 50th anniversary of Jerusalem's
re-unification. A time-line was consulted to put the hints in the proper
order, and letters on the reverse side spelled the Afikoman's location.
This Seder – the first written by Randi – celebrated influential women, from historical figures through
modern times. No traditional "women's seder", this focused on the
accomplishments, activities and lasting impact of women such as:
civic and political leaders and activists (Dolores
Huerta, Sojourner Truth, Eva Peron, Malala Yousafzai, Golda Meir),
leaders in science (Marie Curie, Margaret Sanger, Grace Hopper), writers
(Agatha Christie, Maya Angelou), and firsts in their field
(Julia Child, Muriel Siebert, Sandra Day O'Connor, Valentina
Tereshkova, Wonder Woman). Each participant played the role of a
person, identified by their name on a headband, answering questions
posed by others: What are you known for? What obstacles did
you encounter? What are your lasting contributions? and the like.
(Each person received a brief informational bio about their life.)
Several people wore "Who Am I" headbands, and guests tried to ID them
via a '20 questions' format.
We connected our women's lives to the Maggid, as in: how might they have
aided the revolution in Bnai Brak, or how might they approach Pharaoh
to release the Israelites. The text and prayers of the Haggadah were
altered to match the theme. We also have a funny Passover skit with
famous women as the characters. (Julia Child prepared the Manna, for
example, and Wonder Woman does, um, wonders).
Of course, we celebrated our matriarch Miriam with a beautiful poem
and readings.
We also connected the ancient struggle for freedom to the modern
civil rights movement, as this year was the 50th anniversary of the
assassination of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. (The anniversary happened during
the week of Passover.)
We also read heart-rending stories of real people waiting for
asylum, deported immigrants, people crossing borders.
Our favorite parody songs in this seder: God with No Name, The Story of
Passover to the Beverly Hillbillies theme.
In traditional seders, we talk about our ancestors being enslaved and
persecuted, we have an Exodus, we cross a punishing desert, and we enter
the Promised Land of Eretz Yisroel. A modern Exodus refers to our
ancestors leaving Eastern Europe, its pogroms, persecutions and poverty,
crossing the desert of a treacherous ocean, often in 4th class steerage,
and entering the Promised Land, the Golden Medina, that Americans now enjoy.
This Seder explores the early years of starting the new state,
Jewish America.
We explore the stories of the earliest Jews who came to America: the
Sephardim, first wave establishing communities in the East coast; the 2nd
wave, German Jews leading the way across the continent – from the
deep south to the west coast; the largest 3rd wave, mostly European Jews
starting as peddlers; and the 'Save Soviet Jewry' 4th wave.
It also blends in parodies from the ground-breaking musical Oklahoma!,
the first play by the most successful songwriting team that Broadway has
ever seen. (When the government voted 'Oklahoma!' as the state song,
one legislator said "How can two Jews living in New York know anything
about Oklahoma?!" The resolution passed.)
As this was our first online seder, due to the coronavirus pandemic,
the Afikomen hunt was similarly themed: it was (and still is) hidden on the web.
It was first found in 11 minutes. Then again 2 hrs later,
by a coworker who wrote a Python script to scrape appropriate sites.
Our favorite parody songs in this seder, written by Robyn Shoulson,
our good friend and scholar: 10 Plagues to "I Cain't Say No", the story
of the Exodus to "Surrey with the Fringe on Top", and L'Shana Haba'ah to
the tune of "Oklahoma!".
As this seder was held online (and joined by at least 165 people from
4 countries), a recording can be viewed at
tinyurl.com/SpiegelSederRecorded. 'Show More' in the
YouTube description shows time points for highlights.
This Seder focused on the Jews of China, a small remote community
that thrived in the center of China for at least 700 years in Kaifeng,
once the capital of China. They had high respect from
their community, even had Emperors follow their holidays, and never
faced discrimination or persecution. Their challenge was flooding
– the city's Yellow River was nicknamed "China's Sorrow" –
their synagogue was rebuilt at least 9 times. The Jews of Kaifeng were
totally isolated from the rest of the world; they thought they were
the last of their kind, and were panicked that if they were to die out
Judaism would be lost – stone inscriptions in front of the synagogue
showed their prayers and history.
Our seder told their history and followed some of their customs.
When the synagague was rebuilt the last time (in 1653), the townspeople
celebrated with a congratulatory procession, with trumpets and drums.
The community's clans carried dui-lian with honorific couplets
honoring the synagogue's completion. Behind us were calligraphied banners
containing these same couplets (on left).
Our favorite parody song from this seder: God's Grand Scheme, to the
tune of a popular song from Flower Drum Song (the first
Broadway play and film to feature an Asian-American cast).
Our second seder held online. (Over 190 people joined.) A recording can be viewed at
tinyurl.com/SpiegelSederRecorded2.
'Show More' in the description shows time points for highlights.
The inspiration for this seder was Yip Harburg's lifelong commitment
to social justice. "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" was aspirational for
Jews. Throughout Yip Harburg's career, he always wrote about justice
and freedom. The seder is devoted entirely to fight for freedom.
Jews, being an oppressed minority, have always known that if anyone is
enslaved anywhere, it too is their fight.
We explored the connections between WoZ and the seder story:
the Munchkins were enslaved by the Wicked Witch of the East, eg Pharaoh;
Dorothy is like Moses; Emerald City is like the Promised Land; and L Frank
Baum's quest for the heroine and her sidekicks reflected the path for
spiritual realization.
Of course, the object of our attenion has many superlatives: many
considere the movie as the most influential film of all time. 72 TV
broadcasts made it the most-watched film in movie history. "Somewhere Over
the Rainbow" is ranked as the greatest film song, with Judy Garland's
rendition also considered the #1 recording of the 20th C.
The Plagues, Dayenu, Four Sons were all rewritten in accordance
with the theme, and we sang six parodies written by Robyn Shoulson
to songs from the musical.
Our favorite parody songs in this seder: Dayenu to Ding Dong the Witch is Dead, and Somewhere Over the Desert.
For one of the most beloved musicals from Broadway's Golden Age,
we explored several Jewish connections (the amazingly talented Frank
Loesser, a child prodigy who wrote so many memorable songs and shows; the
Broadway actor for Nathan Detroit), and had fun rewriting the traditional
texts to match the theme – even the Rabbis at Bnai Brak were gambling
all night. But most fun of all were Robyn Shoulson's clever seder parodies
for the show's songs.
For the Afikomen hunt, our guests had to roll dice in a "floating craps
game" to win "Broadway Bucks" (denominations imprinted with pics of
Loesser, Runyon and Sinatra). The bucks purchased horse-racing tips
that were put on a master tip sheet. The tips clued where the Afikomen
was hidden.
Our favorite parody songs in this seder: Fugue for Seder Symbols ("I've
got the shank bone here, its meaning's pretty clear"); Luck be Dayenu
Tonight; Sit Down, We're Crossin' ("And the devil will drag them under,
as the Red Sea drowns them, they'll never float!")
We explored the parallels between two love stories (between the Israelites
& God, and Porgy & Bess), two stories of underdogs (the downtrodden slaves
and the downtrodden tenement community of Catfish Row), and the remarkable
groundbreaking play/folk opera/musical by the brothers Gershwin. You want
superlatives? The musical with the most revivals on Broadway, containing the
most-covered song of all time, by a composer who wrote up to six songs a day,
creating music for over 80 shows and 9 films, totaling over 500 songs in less
than 22 years.
Our favorite parody songs in this seder: Pesach Time ("Summertime"), I've got Plenty
of Chometz ("Plenty of Nuttin'"), and a Dayenu to the tune of "It Ain't Necessarily So."
ORIGINAL PASSOVER SONGS – BY US AND OUR FRIENDS
They pleaded unto God, "Save us all, your children"
Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
So Moses went to Pharaoh, saying "God's real angry,
So God sent down 10 plagues, which were quite horrendous,
Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
The cattle were all killed, and the boils were torture,
All the first-born dropped like flies in their tents and temples,
Chorus: Tell the story, find the matzah, drink the cups of wine.
The Jews ran out of Egypt with their herds of cattle,
Words copyright (c) 1994 by Randi and Murray Spiegel.
Just lean right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip
Old Pharaoh started getting tough, the Jews were harshly bossed
They cried to God please rescue us, conditions here are vile.
So God said Moses take your staff and with your brother go
The frogs, the lice, and even boils, could not make Pharaoh bend
So this is a tale of our ancestors, they wandered a long, long time.
Words copyright (c) 1995 by Randi and Murray Spiegel.
Roasted shankbone
All our bags are packed, we're ready to go
You'll miss me, as you will see
There's so many times you've let us down
You'll miss me, as you will see
Now the time has come to leave you
You'll miss me, as you will see
Words copyright (c) 2000 by Randi and Murray Spiegel.
Had he given those Egyptians
Had he smashed up all their idols –
Had he killed all of their first-born
Had he given us their riches
Had he drowned the Pharaoh's soldiers
Had he given us that manna
Had he given Shabbas to us –
Had he brought us to Mount Sinai
Had he given us the Torah
Had he led us into Israel
Had he built for us the Temple
(c) Singlish Publication Society, 14140
Moses, saw a bush, burning bright, God appeared, told him he must
Moses went to Egypt land, went to see old Pharaoh. Threatened him on
So Moses said to Pharaoh, "I have my God behind me. You will release
This is where the tale gets really good. First, God changed the
water into blood.*
All of, a sudden it looked bleak, with wild beasts ev'rywhere, the
"Put lamb's blood on your doorposts," the Jews were all instructed.
Now, we celebrate our freedom ev'ry Passover and this, is why we dine
Notes: Do not repeat the first musical theme in the original Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.
Words copyright (c) 2001 by Randi Spiegel.
A long time ago, it is told
What was found floating in the Nile?
Moses left 'cause he did not want to
God spoke through a burning bush
Moses returned to the land he'd fled
First the blood made Pharaoh harden and
Frogs and lice, they were the next two plagues
Next there were the boils and the hail
Moses led the Jews that dark night
Jews were saved and never had to
Download the annotated version
to help you match the words to the music.
Words copyright (c) 2003 by Randi Spiegel.
It was thirty years ago tonight,
We're Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang,
I don't really want to stop the show,
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
The Jews were slaves in Egypt and their lives were very tragical
All: With many sullen facts including killing all the male-born Jews (2x)
Now Moses went to Egypt with a mission very serious
All: They were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
When Pharaoh didn't listen, God sent plagues that were just like a pox
So Moses raised his staff which changed the waters into blood with ease
All: The cattle died, they all were killed, until there weren't any more (2x)
So Moses came back with demands in Babylonic cuneiform
All: We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
Egyptians and their Pharaoh waited for the next plague to begin
The Jews put lambs' blood on their doors and packed their clothes and finery
All: The Jews could now leave Egypt, he would let them live and set them free (2x)
We're here tonight to tell about our ancestors in slavery
All: We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
Words copyright (c) 2006 by Randi Spiegel.
Each year our house is made pristine
The Seder happens ev'ry year
Now the only thing this rambler needs
Oh mother tell your children
Well, I got one fork in the brisket
Well, each year our house is made pristine
Words copyright (c) 2008 by Randi Spiegel.
Why, why must we slave 'til we die
Did you read the book of Shmot
Why, why must we slave 'til we die
Moses threatened Pharaoh on the throne
Why, why must we slave 'til we die
Helter skelter in the desert swelter
Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply
Oh, and now we are all in one place
Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply
I met a gal who sang the blues
Bye, bye, miss my warm pecan pie
Words copyright (c) 2008 by Randi Spiegel.
Hebrew slaves work by the old Nile River,
FROGS: "Jeremiah was a Bull Frog"
Jeremiah was a bull frog, had a lot of friends you know
Singing Frogs of the world, all the boys and girls now
LICE: "To Life!"
The Lice, The Lice, I gottem
WILD BEASTS: "Music of the Night"
Daylight's fading, night's almost upon us,
CATTLE DISEASE: "Ticket to Ride"
The Pharaoh's gonna be sad, I think it's today,
* Alternate, less tasteful verse:
Go away little boils, Go away little boils,
HAIL: "Hello, Dolly"
Hailstones Dolly, well, Hailstones Dolly,
LOCUSTS: "Luck, be a lady tonight"
Luck, be a locust tonight (2x)
DARKNESS: "Night and Day"
Day and night, they're all the same.
DEATH OF FIRSTBORN: "Tonight, Tonight"
Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night,
Tonight, the angel will descend on,
Oh moon, grow bright,
Hey there Elijah
Hey there Elijah
Repeat Chorus
Permission granted by authors for private use.
We are sitting at the Seder,
The hosts would speed it up if they knew,
Oh I would tell the tale,
But now my stomach is off-kilter.
Is it worth the waiting for?
Kiddush first, Four questions next
We said Four sons, and Ten plagues, and Three things,
and we've
Food, glorious food! No more just wine sipping!
Food, glorious food! Roast brisket with gravy,
Words copyright (c) 2009 by Robyn Shoulson.
The plagues, there were nine of them, yo,
To the Red Sea the Hebrews were led.
Moses departed the fold
I have often sat for a meal before,
Where're the fluffy rolls that I like to eat,
And oh! Those wonderful greens plates –
We have dips tonight – not the salsa kind.
Tonight, tonight, is not just any night,
Tonight, we have two special dippings –
We'll lean, not sit, because we will observe Pesach night –
Tonight!
Freed us from slavery
How many favors has God wrought?
Gave us the ten commands
Many more phenomenal Four Questions parodies are
in our book: Rap, Reggae, Gilbert and Sullivan,
"Dough" Re Me, Shakespearean, Lawyerese, Klingon, and of course Valley Girl.
Pharaoh: I am the Pharaoh of the Israelites! Slaves: And a bad-ass Pharaoh, too! Pharaoh: I'm very, very mean Slaves: He's very, very mean Pharaoh: Though Moses did insist Slaves: What, never? Pharaoh: No, never! Slaves: What, never? Pharaoh: Well... No, never! Slaves: The slaves will never get their way! Pharaoh: I do my best to make life hard for you. Slaves: We are beaten 'til our backs are bent. Pharaoh: You complain about your plight Slaves: We complain about our plight Pharaoh: Bad temper and abuse Slaves: What, never? Pharaoh: No, never! Slaves: What, never? Pharaoh: Well... No, never! Slaves: The Jews will never get away! Words copyright (c) 2016 by Randi Spiegel.
You say – your work is so hard and you're not getting overtime pay.
You'll be back. Soon you'll see!
You say I'm too demanding and you can't go on.
You'll be back here for more. Words copyright (c) 2017 by Robyn Shoulson.
Pharaoh:
I am Pharaoh over all the land
Gods I worship cause the sun to rise Moses:
I am Moses, you know me
So God sent me to tell you Words copyright (c) 2016 by Randi Spiegel. Come and listen to my story 'bout the Hebrew slaves Pharaoh that is, mean guy, hated Jews. The first thing Moses said was "Let my people go No more drinking water. Poor Egyptians. Old Pharaoh was not one to frighten easily No redemption for the Hebrew slaves. Five more plagues the Pharaoh would withstand Killing of the first-born Egyptians, that is. One night the Jews put lamb's blood on their doors God's command to free the slaves, that is. Moses led his people far away from Pharaoh's grip But that's another story, for another time.
Words copyright (c) 2019 by Randi Spiegel.
PASSOVER GAMES AND PUZZLES AND SKITS
Plagues Word
Search Puzzle Board games for little kids from CAJE:*
Get from Egypt to Israel –
Moses' Life Story –
Collect All Five Symbolic Foods for a Seder Plate
SEDER TRADITIONS AROUND THE WORLD
Click here for a comprehensive list of customs from many
countries. It's one way of educating about traditions
used elsewhere and celebrate the diversity of Jews around the world.
OTHER USEFUL RESOURCES
The 1526 Prague Haggadah is one of the most famous illustrated
Hebrew books. It was the first printed, illustrated Haggadah, decorated
with sixty woodcuts and illustrated Hebrew letters. The
commentary on the text provides interesting views into the
culture and traditions of the 16th century. On my request, scholars Robyn Shoulson and Saul London produced
an English translation and interpretion of the commentary in the
Prague Haggadah. Get the interpretive translation here While the commentary is interesting reading on its own, it's much
more interesting to use with one of the recently published
facsimile editions. These are available from the Bialik Institute,
the Education Dept (Pedagogical Institute) of the Jewish Agency
for Israel, Robinson Books and several other places. Ask your local
Jewish bookstore to get it, or do a web search for Prague Haggadah.
Joe Gelles
markets Noam Zion's wonderful haggadahs:
A Different Night and A Night to Remember
Pesach Fun! has many wonderful family-friendly games
and quizzes to engage children. From Pesach Bingo, 20 Questions,
Charades, Taboo, ImaginIff, Categories, and Headlines to Treasure Hunts,
Letter Rip and Compatibility, these games teach creativity,
knowledge and joy for Passover. With ready-to-use game boards.
Perhaps their best suggestion is asking older kids to create questions,
boards and puzzles for their younger siblings. By Miriam & Ephrayim Naiman and
their children, in Ramat Beit Shemesh. JewBelong
contains resources for leading a kickass seder with a lighthearted attitude.
Thanks for visiting Seders for You. I hope you found many
useful suggestions. Don't forget to tell your friends about us
also!
Download the
Fiddler at the Seder Haggadah
To celebrate 40 years of desert wandering, no, leading novel seders,
I honored those individuals who've inspired my own seder creativity,
shared their own mishegas and given me suggestions they dared not do
themselves. Our seder sampled interviews of 7 scholars and friends,
plus we sang great parody songs from a few others. A few things we did:
we started the seder with an ending song (Chad Gadya),
folded origami plagues, had plague symbols on the wine glasses, moror in
little silver wheelbarrows, read The New Yorker's hilarious
Four Questions parody, launched "El Al"-themed paper airplanes
during L'shana Haba'a B'Yerushalayim, and the entire evening was
punctuated by secret Silly Seder Activities that the kids created for
the adults (ex: When lice is mentioned, scratch your head vigorously).
Clues for the Afikomen hunt were given in an NPL (National Puzzler's
League)-take off of Wheel of Fortune.
Inspired (though perhaps the wrong word) by recent anti-immigrant tirades,
restrictive laws and Wall-building, this Seder focused on immigration,
xenophobia, refugees and asylum seekers. After all, the ancient
Israelites were immigrants: Our daily prayers tell us "You shall love the
stranger, for you were once strangers in the land of Egypt." Some of the
traditional seder texts were re-written. For example: "Had He brought
us out of Egypt, but not given us the appropriate travel documents /
but not sufficient safe havens along the way / no legal assistance
for our entrance into the Promised Land ..." The Four Children were
The Activist, The Nativist, The Indifferent and The Uninformed;
Pesach/Matzah/Maror were cast into symbols appropriate to the topic.
And of course, Elijah had something to say about this as well.
Gonna tell you all a story, 'bout the Jews in Egypt,
They had a good thing goin', there was no complaint.
But then there came this Pharaoh, who was mean and nasty,
He worked them night and day, from the heat they did faint.
And God looked down to them, he was quite distressed.
So God appeared to Moses through a bush on fire,
He said "Go back to Egypt, go clear up this mess."
It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.
They've suffered many years, Le-let my people go."
But Pharaoh didn't listen, he had no intentions
Of giving up his servants, and he HUHp said "No."
They started out with water being changed to blood.
And then there came the frogs; Third, the lice persisted,
Then wild beasts everywhere left a ... trail of crud.
It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.
The hail came down in torrents, heads were really woozie.
From the sky there came the locusts, number 9 was darkness,
But God was not yet done, number 10 was a doozie.
Every bird and beast in Egypt, only Pharaoh was spared.
Such a wailin' in Mitsrayim, there was such commotion,
Pharaoh couldn't comprehend, he just ... stopped and stared.
It's all in celebration, so let's sing and dine.
Pharaoh followed with his armies, they were very near,
But then Moses stretched his hand, and The Sea was parted,
Our people walked on through, they were ... free and clear.
So here we are tonight, sitting 'round this table,
We tell this tale again, never with a gap.
When our ancestors were slaves, God reached out to help them,
The Jews are now a people, 'cause we HUHp beat the rap!
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
That started back in ancient times while under Pharaoh's whip.
Well Moses was a pious man, God made him brave and sure
Though Pharaoh was a mighty man, his heart was not pure,
his heart was not pure.
If not for the courage of the fearless few our people would be lost,
our people would be lost.
Send Moses, and Aaron, too, to save our children and wives.
We'll leave this land at God's behest
Here on Pharaoh's Nile.
To Pharaoh you will plead your case to let my people go.
Well Moses, he sure did his best, but Pharaoh was not moved
Til God sent down ten dreadful plagues and His power was proved,
His power was proved.
'Til slaying of the first born males threatened Pharaoh's life to end,
threatened Pharaoh's life to end.
The Jews escaped miraculously, when God helped them to flee,
Egyptian armies followed them, but drowned in the deep Red Sea.
They had to make the best of things, it was an uphill climb.
So join us here each year my friends, it's sure to be worthwhile
Retelling how the Jews escaped, far from Pharaoh's Nile.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Hard-Boiled Egg
Karpas and Charoseth
Bitter Herbs
We're standing here outside our doors
We dare not wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' this early morn'
Moses is waiting, he's blowing his horn
We're planning our escape so we won't die
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go
We're leaving from this great strain
We pray we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.
Your many crimes have plagued our town
I tell you now they were all mean things
Every place I go, you'll shrink from view,
Every song I sing will be 'gainst you
I won't be back to wear your ball and chain
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go
We're leaving through a wet plain
We hope we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.
One more time, let me diss you
Close your eyes, we'll be on our way
Dream about the days to come
When you'll be left here all alone
About the time when I won't have to say
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go
We're leaving all our bread grain
We know we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Had he saved us, saved us, saved us,
Saved us from the mean Egyptians
And not given them conniptions, Dayenu
Unforgettable conniptions
Without smashing all their idols, Dayenu
Pulverized those gal- and guy-dolls
Without killing all their first-born, Dayenu
(Made the families so forlorn)
Without giving us their riches, Dayenu
Split the sea (we walked with fishes)
But not drowned the Pharaoh's army, Dayenu
Forty years we hiked 'round boulders
But had given us no manna, Dayenu
– Go eat as much as you wanna –
But had kept the Shabbas from us, Dayenu
This day's for rest, not for commerce
But not brought us to Mount Sinai, Dayenu
Through the desert, it was so dry
And not given us the Torah, Dayenu
Where we sang and danced the Hora
And not led us into Israel, Dayenu
(So far this is quite a long tale)
And not built for us the Temple, Dayenu
So to pray we do assemble
But had not made Manischewitz, Dayenu
Sherwood, Oak Park, MI 48237
Scansion modifications and additional verses by Randi
and Murray Spiegel, Passover 2000
Moses followed all of God's commands, helped the Jews escape from
Pharaoh's hands. Egypt was where the Jews all lived, and happy with
their lives, until the Pharaoh came, and made them slaves; he worked
them night and day, and held them all at bay, they had to get away.
save the Jews. "Moses, you must go to Egypt speak to Pharaoh tell
him I am not amused. Yes you must go, and tell him tell him he must
let the Hebrews go yes he must let my people go. Their pleas I can't
ignore, they will be slaves no more. You tell Pharaoh he will be
punished if he doesn't listen and won't let my people go."
God's behalf. Instead it, just made Pharaoh laugh. He said "I will
not free them, they are my slaves forever. So go back where you came
from, give up on your endeavor. I am strong. You are weak, so turn
around go on home and stay there 'cause I never will give in."
my people, or you'll be very sorry. Plagues will come, horrid plagues
so be aware what'll happen to you if you don't release the Jews.
I've warned you for the very last time the plagues will come and
God won't be kind as you will soon find." Pharaoh said "I have
not changed my mind."
hadn't reckoned, that God would send a second. Frogs hopped around
the city, the picture wasn't pretty. The people were surrounded, the
croaking noise resounded. Well Pharaoh still resisted, what Moses
had insisted. A third plague was enlisted, and so the lice persisted.
It seemed as if the Jews could never leave, Pharaoh's land. It seemed,
as if they'd never leave, but, they knew, they'd just have to believe.
people ran and shrieked. The cattle all died where they had been
grazing and the boils were torture they could not endure. People,
were in pain, they agreed, that the Jews, should be free from
slavery. Pharaoh, would not listen to them Moses said a seventh
plague had been decreed. The hail came down, down from the sky in
torrents, hail fell down so hard. And such was Pharaoh's fate, God
sent plague number eight the swarms of locusts filled the sky to terrify.
Soon the sun's rays were suppressed. Egypt was in darkness
Then the tenth plague was begun, and Pharaoh, at last was, undone.
Egyptians did not know this, an awful plague erupted. Death appeared,
at their door and ev'ry first-born in Egypt died including Pharaoh's
fav'rite child. The Jews all followed Moses, they made a swift
departure. But Pharaoh's armies followed, intending to recapture.
Just ahead, was the sea so Moses stretched out his hand to part it
and they walked through carefully. The armies followed foolishly,
the waters closed the soldiers were drowned the Jews were then free.
on mostly matzah, pasta we do not, ingest. Consuming mostly matzah
which the rabbis blessed. We tell this story all about the Hebrews' quest,
at, this matza fest.
Punctuation is provided only to help sing phrases and is not gramatically correct.
Highly recommend downloading the written music
to match words to the music.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
(Recorded by "The Bangles," Columbia album "Different Light," 1986)
The Jews were slaves unto Pharaoh
If they moved too slow (oh way oh)
They'd be whipped to keep the status quo.
A child in a wicker basket
Found by the queen (oh way oh)
And raised in the Pharaoh's palace
Ay oh way oh, ay oh way oh
Walk like an Egyptian.
Said that Pharaoh needed to be pushed
To free the Jews (oh way oh)
Or terrible plagues they'd undergo.
But Pharaoh laughed at what Moses said
He did not believe (oh way oh)
Kept talking like an Egyptian.
Ay oh way oh, ay oh way oh
Walk like an Egyptian.
Wild beasts trampled in the marketplace
Then the cattle died (oh way oh)
But God was not done with Pharaoh yet.
The locusts swarmed, causing crops to fail
Darkness then fell (oh way oh)
The first-borns were killed by God's hand.
The Red Sea was where they crossed in fright
Pharaoh's armies drowned (oh way oh)
They walked the line like Egyptian.
Ay oh way oh, ay oh way oh
Walk like an Egyptian
Walk like an Egyptian.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
A personal celebration of a milestone
Murray held a Seder with delight,
Now we all know that they last a while,
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile.
So may I introduce to you,
The act you've known for all these years,
Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang
We hope you're in a festive mood.
Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang,
Sit back and just enjoy the food.
Murray Spiegel's Second, Murray Spiegel's Second,
Murray Spiegel's Second, Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang.
It's wonderful to be here,
It's certainly a thrill.
You're really great participants,
We know you'll feel at home with us,
We know you'll feel at home.
But I thought you might like to know,
That the leader's gonna tell a tale,
Of our ancestors who did prevail.
So may I introduce to you,
The one and only Murray S.
And Murray Spiegel's Second Seder Gang.
They were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
We read in the Haggadah of the tale that is historical
And that is what a Seder is, in order categorical
At least that's how we tell all of our stories that are biblical
If we were living way back then, our fate would make the front page news
With many sullen facts including killing all the male-born Jews
With many sullen facts including killing all the male-born, male-born Jews
Told Pharaoh he must free the Jews and not to be nefarious
They were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
Upon the people and the land and animals as large as ox
God hoped that Pharaoh would concede and show he was not merciless
Instead the slaves were beaten more, while Pharaoh stood emotionless
They heard the croaking chorus from the frogs a'croaking in the breeze
Then lice infested everyone, wild beasts stampeded with a roar
The cattle died, they all were killed, until there weren't any more
The cattle died, they all were killed, until there weren't any, any more
God sent the plague of boils in hopes that Pharaoh would, at last, reform
We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
We're here to tell the story of the Israelites in general
The hail came down in torrents with the sharpness of a javelin
The locusts swarmed, the blackened sky you could see from Mount Ararat
Then darkness overcame the land, folks couldn't see where they were at
Egyptians' first-born sons were killed; these are the plagues in summary
And then the Pharaoh did comply, told Moses that he would agree
The Jews could now leave Egypt, he would let them live and set them free
The Jews could now leave Egypt, he would let them live and set them, set them free
We'd not be here today without their courage, strength and bravery
We were the slaves of Pharaoh, who was really quite tyrannical
And now we've told the story of the Israelites in general
And now we've told the story of the Israelites in general.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit
medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is
appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which
it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
So Seders can be run
And it's been the ruin of many a woman
And Lord I know I'm one.
You can wear your new blue jeans
The leader is a ramblin' man
And to the left he leans.
Is the Seder with two dunks
And the only time he's satisfied
Is when he's four cups drunk.
Not to do what I have done
Spend your life in tearful misery
In the house of martyrdom
Another one in the chrain
I'm goin' back to the kitchen now
To wear that ball and chain.
So Seders can be run
And it's been the ruin of many a woman
And Lord I know I'm one.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit
medium provided that its content is not altered and this notice is
appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which
it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
A long, long time ago ...
Israelites had to kowtow
To Pharaoh who they knew was vile
And they knew if they had a chance
That they would have to take a stance
And maybe they'd live happy by the Nile
But Moses was put in the river
To Pharaoh's palace was delivered
Bad news on the doorstep
The Hebrews toiled 'til they wept
They prayed to G-d to hear their cry
And to save them from this monstrous guy
Something touched Him deep inside
The day our people cried
So ...
Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry
We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try
Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply
Scares us so that we must comply
And do you have faith in what they wrote
If the Bible tells you so
Moses went to Pharaoh to cajole
And maybe save his mortal soul
And asked him just to let our people go
Well the chances they were pretty slim
That Pharaoh would give in to him
But Pharaoh wouldn't lose
His slaves, so he refused
Our people suffered so when they were struck
'Cause they were the slaves of Pharaoh and were stuck
And they thought they were out of luck
The day our people cried
They started saying ...
Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry
We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try
Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply
Scares us so that we must comply
Said he knows that G-d'll send plagues down
And that's the way it had to be
First the waters in the Nile pristine
Were turned to blood and made unclean
And then frogs hopped around for all to see
Oh, and while Pharaoh was looking down
The lice made the Egyptians frown
The people were concerned
That plagues were sent in turn
And while Pharaoh was no easy mark
The wild beasts trampled in the park
The cattle died, the land was stark
The day our people cried
They were saying ...
Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry
We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try
Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply
Scares us so that we must comply
Now boils, then hail, there was no shelter
Plagues on high and coming fast
Then locusts in the air en masse
Egyptians were in a deep morass
With the Pharaoh on the sidelines standing fast
Total darkness hit the land with gloom
There was no sun, no stars, or moon
G-d showed omnipotence
Oh, Pharaoh never had a chance
The plague of slaying first-borns was revealed
Pharaoh was beat and had to yield
Now all the slaves could leave the field
The day G-d turned the tide
And they were singing ...
Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high
Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry
Bringing Jews across to the other side
Safe across to the other side
For generations to relate
The story that's retold again
So come one and come all, please make it quick
It's time to light the candle's wick
'Cause Seders are the means to comprehend
Oh, and as we read and turn the page
Our Seder guests we do engage
The story we do tell
So come and sit a spell
And as we tell of our ancestors' plight
The Ma Nishtanah we recite
In the ceremony we delight
The day G-d turned the tide
And He was singing ...
Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high
Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry
Bringing Jews across to the other side
Safe across to the other side
Because she had fewer foods to choose
So she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the groc'ry store
Where I'd bought a challah days before
And I filled my basket for the holiday
And back at home the house was clean
No speck of chametz could be seen
The middle matza broken
Go find the afikomen
And the three foods we will miss the most
Are popcorn, pizza and French toast
But this is true from coast to coast
The day the Jews defied
And so we're singing ...
Drink some heavy Manischewitz and eat matza so dry
No bagels, pancakes or some nice Jewish rye
Eating macaroons and fried matza brei
Thankful that the Jews did not die
They were singing ...
Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply
Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high
Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry
And our people crossed to the other side
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel, 48 Roosevelt Street,
Roseland, NJ 07068 / rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Permission granted by authors for private use.
BLOOD: "Old Man River"
Hebrew slaves work while the Pharaoh plays.
Pullin' those stones from the dawn til sunset,
Gettin' no rest til Redemption Day.
Don't look up and don't look down,
You don't dare make Egyptians frown.
Bend your knees and bow your head,
And pull that rope until you're dead.
Let me go way from the big Nile River,
Let me go way from the slave man boss,
Show me the way through the Red Sea water,
That's the one stream that I long to cross.
Ol' Nile River, that Ol' Nile River,
To blood it's turnin', It keeps on churnin'
It keeps on spewin', It just keeps flowin' a-long.
He called every one, said, "Let's go have some fun
We'll crawl right out of the Nile, and Egypt we'll defile.
Forget all the fishes of the deep blue sea
No one's slimier than you and me.
I gottem, I gottem, the Lice
Pharaoh, O, Pharaoh, O, please give in
We want to save our skin
Lice – I gottem, the Lice.
Creature's waiting, maul and stomp upon us.
Try to run away, but without the light of day,
They can smell and see us with nocturnal sight,
The power of the wild beasts of the night!
Our cows are gonna be mad, and dying away.
It's not due to the fleas,
They're falling down on their knee-ee-ees *
They've got Mad Cow Disease,
And we're all scared!
They've got Mad Cow Disee-ee-ease,
They're walking in B.V.D's,
And we're all scared!
BOILS: "Go Away Little Girl"
It's hurting me more each minute that you delay.
When you are on me like this,
You're much too hard to resist.
So go away ugly boils,
And never come back to stay.
They are falling fast and hard upon your head.
You don't look well, Dolly, I can tell, Dolly
Your face has several bruises, you should be in bed.
I feel the room swaying, for as I was saying,
We have all sustained a lot of head trauma, so
Children, dads, and mothers,
Quick we have to duck and cover,
Make these Hailstones go away,
Make these Hailstones go away,
Make these Hailstones go away, for good.
Luck, if youve ever been a locust to begin with.
Luck, be a locust tonight.
A locust doesnt fly off solo.
Hes in a swarm, that flies at night.
And when they hit the fields, they consume all they see!
There wont be a green leaf in sight!
So whats on the menu tonight?
When we are done theyll be blight.
Luck, if youve ever been a locust to begin with,
Luck, be a locust — Luck, be a locust! (2x)
Luck, be a locust tonight!
Night and day, our Pharaoh's to blame.
Because he won't let the Hebrews go,
We're suffering with the sun's warming glow.
For three whole days, and nights.
Tonight there will be blood in the air.
Tonight, tonight, first-borns will die tonight,
The Egyptians will be unprepared.
The Pharaoh and his people,
And no one will be spared.
And let G-d show his might,
End our plight, tonight!
Hey there Elijah
What's it like at all those Seders
You will drink a lot of wine tonight
But tonight you're permitted yes you are
We can't continue without you,
Oh yes it's true
Hey there Elijah
We believe you'll be here someday
And will bring the world together
Give us hope for what the future will provide
Hear our prayers and our cries,
You're by our side
Chorus: Oh it's what you mean to us (4 times)
What you mean to us.
Share your vision of the world to be
Where G-d is one for everyone
And Seders 'round the world are being done
Next year may we all celebrate,
In Jerusalem
With our friends and fam'ly gathered here
Just as they do year after year
Now we have only one task left to do,
You know it's all because of you,
We open our door to welcome you,
Hey there Elijah, here's to you,
This cup's for you
More food is coming later,
But now I am in pain.
It would help my digestion,
I could get through all four questions
If I only had some chrain.
We'd get through the Dayenu
And not do each refrain.
It would ease my neurosis,
I'd enjoy all this harosis
If I only had some chrain.
I'd recount the plagues and parting of the sea.
How glorious and wondrous it would be.
We'd drink some wine
And then we'd dine.
The fish is too gefilte.
The parsley sprigs seem plain.
I'd be happy eating lotsa
Food. I'd chow down all the matza
If I only had some chrain.
Many, many parody songs from
Oliver are located in the Oliver Twisted Haggadah,
downloadable above.
What were salivating for?
First we slog through the Haggadah!
All that long Rabbinic text,
How much more to the Haggadah?
Finished off Two cups of wine
With our tongues hanging out and our stomachs agrowl,
Have we finally come to the time for ––
Food, glorious food! All done with just dipping!
Let's start with gefilte fish, I'll pass you the chrayn.
Then chicken soup – what a dish – with knaidlach or plain.
Boiled flanken or stewed, roast turkey – and maybe
Sweet kugel and kishka too, we're feeling renewed
By Food, glorious food, wonderful food, fattening food!!
Permission is hereby granted to
reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content
is not altered and this notice is appended.
Words copyright (c) 2011 by Randi Spiegel.
Gonna tell you all now how God helped our people
with the favors that He did for which we are grateful
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Now gimme some percussion for this discussion
(Undertone: Slavery, Slavery ...)
If He brought us out of Egypt and that's all He'd done
we'd be free to find our destiny of fame and fortune
Pharaoh thought he was tough so God called his bluff
Let's say it all together while we huff and puff
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Now punish those Egyptians for their superstitions
Don't encourage their magicians with their high ambitions
I got a premonition, they're gonna get afflictions
So believe with conviction, this here ain't science fiction
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
We're bettin' on the odds God'll judge their gods
And ride 'em outta town in some old hot rods
Hey don't just nod, this ain't no facade
Do I have to prod so you believe the word o' God?
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Hey Yo, Pharaoh, first-born sons are dead
Are you seeing red? Go ahead, check the bed
Death has spread a web of dread
It's weakened your position; you got no coalition
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
We got our health, we got your wealth
Don't give a hoot, we'll take your loot
Now be astute, we gotta scoot
'Cause up ahead's a long commute
Egyptian soldiers in hot pursuit
Our trust in God is absolute
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
(Undertone: Miracles, Miracles ...)
God split the sea so we could flee
Be footloose then and fancy-free
Don't need no degree from MIT
To know we gotta move ASAP
We can't sightsee, but we guarantee
there'll be plenty o' time for a jubilee
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Cross on dry land on God's command
we're headed for the Promised Land
Will there be oil, will there be sand?
Won't know until we see firsthand
Whatever's ahead we can withstand
so our people and nation will expand
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Do not break down, don't even frown
God made the Pharaoh's army drown
They tracked us down but were struck down
and all the people, they danced around
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
God was our provider and our Red Sea divider
But now we got to ponder
What's that desert over yonder?
That's where we're gonna wander?
Is God our first responder?
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
We searched for some banana
but God fed us with manna
No hocus pocus, we gotta keep our focus
And so to shield the sun we wore bandanas
It was hotter than hot, crossing that savanna
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
(Undertone: Be with God, Be with God ...)
We need a break, give us a rest
Shabbat Shalom, this day is blessed
With God's command from up in heaven
we work six days and rest on seven
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
We testify, we can't deny, that God led us to Mount Sinai
The desert's dry, but we won't die
Won't sigh, won't cry, and won't defy
If we stand by God, He will supply
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Don't forget Sodom and Gomorrah
just 'cause God gave us the Torah
It's too damn hot to wear angora
So instead let's all just dance the Hora
led by Miriam and sista Tzipporah
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Now don't you wail, and don't derail
Our God's brought us to Is-ra-el
Hey, do not flail, we will prevail
With God above we cannot fail
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
And in the end, when God was done
He'd built the Temple so we could pray as one
Our ancestors lives had just begun
without fear of oblivion
Without oppression or intimidation
the Jews could flourish as a nation
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
It would have been enough, yeah,
it would have been enough
Dayenu, Dayenu, Dayenu, DAYENU
Permission is hereby granted
to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its
content is not altered and this notice is appended. I would appreciate
receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
But every time Pharaoh said no.
Then came plague number ten.
Would he do it again?
He decided to let them all go.
As they fled, they brought with them their bread.
Pharaoh hardened his heart.
The sea started to part,
And now we eat matzah instead.
To receive the commandments, we're told.
But he broke them in half
Upon seeing that calf,
So take care what you do with your gold.
Many, many parody songs from
My Fair Lady are located in the My Fair Seder Haggadah,
downloadable above.
But there's something here tonight I didn't feel before,
And so what has changed
That it feels so strange?
What makes this meal so different tonight?
That I always like to dip in gravy with the meat?
Now there's Matza – flat,
Dry and crumbly. That's
Just one way this meal's different tonight.
Steamed, sauteéd, or frittered or plain.
Tonight, we remember our mean state,
We eat bitter herbs – horseradish or romaine.
And we're sitting at an angle (not on our behind).
These are only four,
And I'm sure there's more
Things so strange and so different tonight!
Many, many parody songs from
West Side Story are located in the West Side Seder Haggadah,
downloadable above.
Words copyright (c) 2011-2012 by Robyn Shoulson.
Four Questions: "Tonight"
Tonight we will eat no bread at all.
Tonight, tonight, our greens are not just greens,
Bitter herbs will help us to recall.
Our veggies in salt water,
Maror in charoset.
Dayenu: "America"
Dayenu!
Slaughtered their progeny
Dayenu!
Split open wide the sea
Dayenu!
Drowned all our enemies
Dayenu!
All of our battles that He fought?
So much thanksgiving that we owe
God rules on High and down below.
Dayenu!
40 years through the sand
Dayenu!
Led to our promised land
Dayenu!
Built us our Temple grand
Dayenu!
Permission is hereby
granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided
that its content is not altered and this notice is appended.
Pharoah of the Isralites (tune of
G&S's "I am the Captain of the Pinafore")
by Randi Spiegel, Passover 2016
Watch on YouTube
And I like to cause a scene
And I get my own way, too.
And he likes to cause a scene
And he gets his own way, too.
The slaves should be dismissed
I will not set them free.
No matter what they say
They will never get their way
Even if they plead on bended knee.
Then give one boo, no! make that two,
For the hateful Pharaoh over all the Jews!
Then give one boo, no! make that two,
For the Pharaoh over all the Jews!
And I think it only right
To increase your discontent.
And he thinks it's only right
To increase our discontent.
Is how I treat the Jews
So they will feel my wrath each day.
Though plagues will fill our land
I won't meet their demand
And I'll never let them get away!
Then give three boos, no! make that four,
For the spiteful Pharaoh who we all abhor!
Then give three boos, no! make that four,
For the Pharaoh who we all abhor!
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and this
notice is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
You'll Be Back (from "Hamilton")
by Robyn Shoulson (c) 2017
You cry – that the sun is so hot, yet you'll go to the desert to pray!
Why so sad?
Remember we worked out a deal when you came here to stay.
Now you're making me mad!
Just think of how bad you will feel with no straw to make clay!
You'll miss all the goods you got for free!
You'll be back. Time will tell.
You'll find marching in the desert hell!
Moses came, so you'll go!
But I warn you, you're just courting woe!
For when push comes to shove,
I will send my many charioteers to remind you of my love!
Da da da da da ......
Let's see who'll still be standing after you've gone.
And no – threats won't deter me!
You'll never massacre me!
And soon you will prefer me.
You'll come back here to serve me
Forever and ever and ever and ever ...
And you'll labor as you did before!
And my fame and renown
Will endure – we'll build another town.
So don't think I am mad!
I employ you so you should be glad!
For when push comes to shove
I will kill your slaving children to remind you of my love!
Da da da da da ......
EVERYBODY!
Da da da da da ......
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and thisnotice
is appended.
Just Wait and See (Duet song to tune of
Irving Berlin's "You're Just in Love")
by Randi and Murray Spiegel, Passover 2017
Watch on YouTube
Hebrew slaves, they do what I command
All day long I sit and designate
I am revered. I am so great.
It's ordained I'll be immortalized
See my cities that were built for me
I will make history, just wait and see.
I once lived very nobly
Brought up here in these palace walls
But the slaves – how you treat them
I have witnessed you beat them
Now I'm here to see your downfall.
You must free all the Hebrews
Plagues will come if you disagree
There is nothing you can do
To prevent God's wrath on you
Pharaoh, just you wait and see.
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and thisnotice
is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
The Story of Passover (tune of
"Beverly Hillbillies")
by Randi Spiegel, Passover 2019
They worked so hard, nearly put them in their graves
But God told Moses to act on His behalf
So he headed off to Egypt where he met the chief of staff
or plagues will come from the heavens to below"
But Pharaoh didn't listen and he scoffed and gave a shrug
So Moses held his staff out and the Nile turned into blood
Though plagues would be brought upon him ceaselessly
First frogs, then lice then flies swarmed all around
But he stuck to his guns and then double downed
Wild beasts, boils, hail, locusts out of hand
Darkness came and covered all the land
But the worst was yet to come by God's great command
The Angel of Death knew just who to ignore
First-born males were slaughtered where they slept
And this time Pharaoh knew he must accept
When they reached the Red Sea he raised his staff and made it split
Pharaoh's Army drowned and the Jews were free and clear
So they cheered with happy tears then wandered 40 years
Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any
non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and thisnotice
is appended. We would appreciate receiving a copy of any
publication in which it appears: Randi Spiegel,
48 Roosevelt Street, Roseland, NJ 07068 /
rspieg{at_sign_here}yahoo.com
Download:
Matzah Ball Tonight
(from A Funny Thing ... Forum)
Download:
Super-kosher Manischewitz, Exodus and Moses
(tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious")
by Chicago's Eric Zorn
Download:
Now We Are Free (tune of
Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline")
by Barry Kling
Download:
Cross the Sea of Reeds (tune of
Adele's "Rolling in the Deep")
by Lex Rofes
Download:
Leader of the Jews (tune of
DJ Jazzy Jeff's "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air")
by Lex Rofes
Download:
It's a Seder! (tune of
Smash Mouth's "All Star")
by Lex Rofes
Download:
The round: Passover Desecration (mash-up of "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik", Pepsi jingle,
"There is Nothin' Like A Dame", "Winter Wonderland" and "Purple People
Eater")
Words by Sol Weber; musical arrangement by Jonathan Jensen
Download:
Phenominal collection of parodies: "Broadway, Beatles and Beyond"
– over twenty years of creations by the very
creative Barbara Sarshik
Download:
Parody of "Under The Sea"
by Rabbi Howard Goldsmith
Download:
Let Us Go (tune of
"Let It Go")
by Rabbi Howard Goldsmith
Download:
Passover Seder (tune of
West Side Story's "Officer Krupke")
by Phil Trechak
Download:
Soup and Turkey (tune of
"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious")
by Phil Trechak – "Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle I; Yeast is gone? Call CSI"
Download:
Passover Catastrophe (tune of
G&S's "Modern Major General")
by Phil Trechak – hilarious Passover story of multiple food mishaps
Download:
Pharoah (tune of
Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper's "Shallow" from A Star Is Born)
by Barry Kling (2019)
Download:
God With No Name (tune of
America's " Horse With No Name")
by Jim Propp-Gubin
Various Games – Jeopardy,
Hocus-Pocus/Higgly-Piggly, Family Feud, Hangman, 50-50 Trivia
Passsover
Jeopardy Game Board (Template) – The real deal, the TV show's
design, with fun categories: "Jew Speak", "By The Numbers", "When Do
We Eat", "Rim Shots"
Also print one of these:
Small
version Q&A's
(print 1- or 2-sided)
Large
Q&A's
Passover Categories and M-words Puzzle
A fun 10 Plagues Picture
Puzzle, with a few Hints (and answer) – A challenging, multilevel puzzle
10 Plagues Picture Puzzle – This one's more direct, but relies on few fun puns
A fun Exodus word puzzle
game – Lead Moses from Egypt to the Promised Land – discover the special Parting gift
A clever
Afikomen word-search puzzle – Find the missing trios to discover what
Pharaoh's army received
Passover Seder Mad Libs – Hilarious; have the kids request the words to be filled in
Abbott and Castello
"Who's on First?" parody
The Match Game
Two Minute
Haggadah, done as a tag team seder
Dayenu Madness – Turn Dayenu into a fun, participatory game
Read
the Plagues or the Steps of the Seder in Haiku style!
Four Children and their Four Parents – A different perspective: Four types of parents
An Afikomen puzzle – Form 1040-EGY from
Department of Egyptian Treasuries, Internal Revenge Services
– Customize for your use (seders are often
near tax time)
Fun and easy "Wordlets"
Passover picture puzzles
Freedom cookies
– Put famous quotes about
freedom in meringue cookies or macaroons. Voila!
Kosher Fortune, er, Freedom Cookies
The Newly
Freed game – Fun take-off of the Newlywed Game
Silly Seder
Surprises – Guests do silly stuff when they hear certain
phrases or see each other doing silly stuff
El Al
paper airplanes – Complete with a 'Charlton Heston' Moses and teaming Israelites on the wings. Toss during L'shana Haba'ah B'Yerushalayim
Passover
Skit: Town Meeting – Should we slaves stay or leave with Moses?
Passover Skit: Behind the
scenes: How the 10 Plagues really were determined – Hilarious
Passover Skit: What if the
Exodus were filmed today? (Based on original by John Kador)
Passover Skit: Egypt's Got Plagues! – The various plague
contestants compete for fame and prizes
Passover Skit: The Four Teenagers
– Act out an updated Four Sons
Wanna be a
Seder Millionaire? – Quiz game
Passover Skit: Who wants to be a Seder
Millionaire – A "SlaveDog Millionaire" parody (skit, not game)
Passover Skit: From Slavery to Freedom – Straightforward play about the plagues, language and actions particularly appropriate for young kids
Passover Skit: The Passover story –
With reflection questions and traditional songs
10 Plagues – Funny alternate
plagues story: "God smote all breakfast cereals, not sparing the
Pop-Tarts"
Points cards –
Hand out these cool points cards to keep score on puzzles and games.
(Traditional Jews don't write on the Chag)
Slavery to Freedom Maze – Cleverly designed pattern to keep the youngins occupied
Rent-a-Chariot poster –
Israelites need wheels for the long desert trek, why
not do it in style? Posterize it!
(Created by Jacob Suldan.)
Passover Bingo Cards (kids)
– Dena Ackerman's wonderful and colorful cards (30 different
ones) to keep little ones occupied during the seder (print as ~5"x6")
Passover Bingo Cards (kids and adults)
– Eliana Suldan's Passover Bingo cards for different age levels (young, teens, adults) to keep everyone engaged during the seder (print as ~5"x6")
Funny
Customer Satisfaction Survey – Help us continue to bring the
highest level of Divine interventions
Overly Legalistic Waiver
– I hereby agree to assume all risks arising from liberation from
Egyptian bondage and its reenactment
Passover Equations
Puzzle – 4=Cups of
Wine. Fill-in-the-blanks puzzle
based on a popular Games Magazine puzzle.
No fair peeking at the answers :)
Seder Fortune Teller – Customizable "fold-em-ups" to pose fun Passover questions. Print one for each kid. (Some people call these cootie catchers, and can be used to play-act catching plague-insects such as lice.)
Flight from
Egypt – Find a Sinai path that visits each Israelite campsite
just once: the Traveling Salesman, er, Israelite Problem
[Explanation of
pics on Sinai puzzle]
Jewpardy! – Questions on topics such as sports, Israeli technology, culture, quotes
Matzah Farfel – Clever little Passover-themed math puzzles – No fair peeking at the answers :)
Passover Mad Gab – Identify the "mis-heard" Passover phrases, like "Tie Tie Hay Knew" [for legal-sized paper; can reduce magnification or print left side on regular paper]
* CAJE (Central Agency for Jewish Education) in St Louis